Which Nobody Can Deny (Except This One Guy)

Did you ever know somebody who is so stubborn they will NEVER admit to the obvious? That's kind of a rhetorical question. Of course you do. He lives right here at the Mansion!

Tuesday evening, Farmer H had fired up GassyG Jr to grill some sausages. He came in to wash his hands. Whoopsie! Didn't mean to make you faint. He was actually washing off his BBQ tongs that hang on the grill. Not that they're any use for turning sausage patties, but he was washing them just the same. Said his spatula "wasn't dirty." Despite hanging on the side of the grill all this time with the tongs.

Anyhoo... it was quite a production. Rather than running some water in the sink, or just squirting dish detergent on those tongs to wash them... Farmer H used my Bath and Body Works soap that sits on the kitchen sink. Not the FREE detergent that he brought home a case of a couple years ago. He might as well have been a surgeon scrubbing up for surgery. He lathered up his forearms, hands, and the tongs. Then rinsed them under the stream of water he'd left running. Then shook them over the sink, and reached for a paper towel from the holder on the cutting block.

Farmer H walked to FRIG II to get out the sausage patties.

SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK

"Well. Now you've got water on the floor, tracking it across the kitchen. So dirty spots will start to show up as you traipse around."

"I didn't get no water on the floor."

"Those squeaks say different."

Farmer H came back to the sink. SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK. He ran his hands around the edge. 

"See? There ain't no water. I didn't splash nothin'."

"Then why do your shoes make that noise every time you take a step?"

"I don't know. Maybe my shoes just squeak."

Let the record show that Farmer H made no move to look at the floor, or drop a paper towel down to wipe up the water. Which you KNOW was there. He took the sausages outside, not looking back.

Who you gonna believe, Farmer H, or your lyin' ears?