A Thief Is A Thief

I always take the dogs a treat as I leave for town. Usually it's a scrap of stale bread that has been dredged in meat juices as I clean up the kitchen after cooking. It gets rid of the bread and the grease, and as treats go, it's a delicacy for the dogs. I walk to the steps of the side porch, which is where I distribute the going-away treats.

Sometimes, the dogs are not around. Like Sunday. I had the two pieces of bread in hand, but no dogs. I could toss them on the porch in case the dogs showed up while I was gone. But Pepper would most likely scarf up both with a quickness, and Jack would be left treatless. I set the bread on the shelf that abuts the garage wall. Too high for the dogs. I could hand them out upon my return, as I came out the garage people-door.

I did the same thing a couple times last week. Both times, Farmer H was home first. The bread was gone. I figured he saw it, and gave it to the dogs. I was meaning to ask, but forgot.

This time, Farmer H was still at his SUS2.5 when I returned to the Mansion. The dogs were waiting on the porch. I did not see the bread on the shelf!!! What in the Not-Heaven?

I can only surmise that those pesky squirrels took them! They were half-slices of bread, a bit heavy with the slather of grease that eased out of the warmed-up bratwursts. A muscular crow could have swooped away with them, but I don't suspect a regular little sparrow.

Those thieving squirrels are into everything. It's bad enough that they raid the regular dry dog food. Now they're stealing dog treats. Farmer H's buddy needs to come a-hunting again.

Perhaps This Is Why I CAIN'T UNDERSTAND NOTHIN'

Sometimes Sundays are boring at the SUS2.5 (Storage Unit Store 2.5). Especially at the end of the month, when people have run out of disposable income. And when the forecast predicts rain. Every now and then, Farmer H will pass the time by sending me a text. As you might expect from past communications, this is an adventure.

I was not happy Sunday, because I had checked the weather radar from one of the news stations. As usually happens, THEY WERE WAY OFF! I planned my day around their forecast. I wanted to stop in Save A Lot for a few things, and get my lottery tickets. It looked like I would have a perfectly clear window if I was in town from 2:00 to 3:00. So I adjusted my usual schedule by two hours.

Well! It was already raining as I walked out the Mansion door at 2:00. Surely this was an anomaly. It would quit once I got to town. NO! It got worse in town! I decided NOT to wrestle a shopping cart out of Save A Lot. That stuff could wait until Tuesday. 

I got soaked going into the Gas Station Chicken Store, and I even had my rightful handicap space. I wanted other tickets, and instead of Save A Lot's machine, I headed to 10Box. I got out my big broken umbrella that won't stay closed unless I strap it. The workers standing in the door applauded my efforts. It wasn't too bad, because I could stick my tickets in my bra and have both hands free for the umbrella.

Dang it! Once back inside T-Hoe, the umbrella dripping on the passenger side floor, I couldn't find my tickets!!! Oh NO! Did I drop them? I opened the door and looked down. Nope. I glanced back at the path I had taken. I didn't see any tickets. They couldn't just disappear! What if I dropped them inside? I was preparing to get that umbrella and trek inside when I felt them down on my right hip. Whew! I guess they had worked their way out of my new smaller bra as I climbed up on the running board and contorted to bring in the wet umbrella. Still under the shirt, and DRY.

I was back inside the Mansion by 3:07. The rain continued. Around 3:30, it stopped! Those dirty, dirty liars and their weather predictions!

Anyhoo... as I was taking stuff out of my purse, I saw a text. Huh. That wasn't there when I pulled into the garage. I guess it got a better signal while I walked inside the Mansion. Or it could have been a lag because Farmer H has a poor signal in his SUS2.5.

2:21 "Hope your not out in it"

2:33 "It's pouring here and windy"

3:07 "I was. Stupid radar. Showed it getting here 3:00 to 4:30. So I planned town from 2:00 to 3:00. Just got back."

3:12 "I'll leave the saw on my way home ill be here till 4"

3:22 "Okay. No idea what you're talking about."

3:33 "The weather was horrible"

3:40 "What does SAW have to do with it????"

3:48 "That was for HOS sorry sent to wrong person"

Huh. I guess I'm off the hook for not remembering anything about a saw. So much for giving Farmer H credit for telling me when he was leaving. He wasn't even talking to ME! I guess I'll ask him if HOS is cooking his supper these days, so needs to be kept aware of his ETA.

A Fangirling Interlude

As I near the 33.3 percent milestone of my 36-visit (shh...35) leg therapy journey, I must pause to sing the praises of my OT. She really knows her stuff. While inconvenient to drive 45 minutes one-way three times a week, the appointments themselves are not unpleasant. That's a rousing endorsement from Mrs. HM. Or maybe I'm succumbing to Stockholm Syndrome...

Anyhoo... OT was pleased with the progress she observed on Friday. Looking at the inner part of my right knee, she moved the skin around and exclaimed,

"Look how soft and wrinkly it is!"

"Uh. Yes. It really is... My son would say, 'You elderlies, with your papery-thin skin!'"

"Oh. I don't want you to take that the wrong way. In the lymphedema world, 'soft and wrinkly' is GREAT! That's what we look for! I have to remember when I tell people that. I don't want them think I'm insulting them, or making fun. It's just what we like to see. What we're working for. One lady even had wrinkly TOES! Oh, look. YOU also have wrinkles in your toes."

"I see that now. I didn't think you were making fun. It's nice to see that progress."

"Some of that loose wrinkly-ness will go away, the longer it goes."

"Well. Not a lot, because I AM old, and my skin isn't so elastic anymore."

"I have one guy, he's in his 90s--"

"Oh, so he has a couple years on me, heh, heh!"

"Yeah. His daughter brings him in. He's on some kind of blood-thinner. I have to be really careful of his skin. And another guy who bleeds if you just look at him wrong. Like, he can just take off his pants and there's a fresh cut bleeding. I say, 'How do you DO that?' So I have to be aware of each person and how their skin reacts."

Indeed. I, myself, had some weird wound on my left leg on Wednesday. Took the support stocking off, and OT said, "WHAT am I going to do with you? There's some kind of sore on your leg!"

She held the mirror because I couldn't see it. WOW! It was about the size of a half-dollar, all white and gooey. I was worried that was PUS, but OT didn't think so. She swiped at it with a paper towel, and it rubbed off. "I think it's just wet skin. Maybe that area wasn't all the way dry when you put your sock back on after showering."

My thought was that I had a little nick there that was oozing, and being trapped in a support stocking and the rubbery velcro wraps made it all gooshy in that area, like when you have a bandaid that gets wet, and turns the skin soft and white. OT had put a non-stick gauze pad in there Wednesday, and on this day, there was just a tiny circle of fluid soaked in. So we're just waiting for that to close up. No infection, nothing to worry about.

That's the thing. OT is really good with people skills. I have a toenail that wants to fall off, and she said,

"It's not a big deal. I had one lady who had THREE toenails pop off as I was taking off her socks! I told her, 'Um. Did you not feel that? That's not normal. You might want to keep an eye on that.' She didn't really seem concerned."

I hope other clients are enjoying such stories about ME, heh, heh! Just saying, OT has a way of putting people at ease, like whatever is going on with you is not the most horrific thing she's ever seen!