I Cain't Have Nothin' Of My Own! Tale Of The Tape.

I'm pretty sure I've casually (heh, heh) mentioned that nothing in this Mansion is truly mine! No matter WHAT I have, somebody else wants it. That somebody is Farmer H, now that Genius has moved to his own household. Genius's favorites used to be occasional foodstuffs, but mainly my scissors. I can't recall how many pairs of orange-handled Fiskars were ruined by that boy!

Anyhoo... you may recall that The Pony was out here last week to help Farmer H move the short couch to the basement, and one bed out and a new bed in to Genius's old bedroom. I hate change. I hate commotion. I'd rather they do such things while I'm gone, but Farmer H chose 1:00 in the afternoon. I stayed at the kitchen table with HIPPIE and my innernets, trying not to notice what they were doing. It's bad enough that I had to hear and then glimpse the short couch going over the stair rail.

Anyhoo... next thing I know, Farmer H is trudging through the kitchen door, awkwardly carrying two pieces of bed frame in from the side porch. The Pony was standing outside asking what to do, since Farmer H had not yet given the commands. Yes. The Pony was supposed to also be carrying pieces alone. I don't get Farmer H's logic. Maybe because those two things don't really go together, even in a sentence.

Anyhoo... next thing I know, Pony is at my left shoulder.

"Mom. Do you have a ruler? Dad said you had one the other day, and to get it."

"RULER? That would be down in my office, so I definitely didn't 'have it' the other day. Oh! I bet he means my tape measure that I ordered. I was measuring his knees to get him those CopperFit braces. It's right there on the counter."

"Oh! This?"

"Yes! Wait! You don't have to rip it open! It's already open!"

"Well. I see you opened the BOTTOM, instead of the top like a normal person."

I let that go, because it was The Pony. Who IS half Farmer H. And loathe to accept responsibility. I assure you that I most certainly did not open the bottom of the package.

Clearly, that is THE TOP. I don't think the "top" would require people to read upside down.

That is the back. Where The Pony had been opening a flap. Nobody wants the bottom of their package opened and closed time and again, for the contents to fall out.

Now that I read it, somebody in China ASSUMED I was using this product for BODY WEIGHT LOSS! That is quite presumptuous.

Anyhoo, I took these pictures after The Pony returned my tape measures. Of course the measuring tape was folded back on itself. So I'll have to undo it all the way to measure from the beginning next time I want to use it. Or else tax my noggin to do some math.

I cain't have nothin' of my own!