You know you're a hillbilly when...
...you have to step out on the porch for cell phone reception to call town and order Chinese food, and during the call, a black-and-whited checkered banty rooster hops up on the porch of your Hillbilly Mansion and crows so loudly that you have to repeat your order of Sweet & Sour Chicken and General Tso's Chicken.
Apparently, chickens understand English.
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...the UPS man ignores the two dogs lounging on the porch, but eyes the flock of approaching chickens with distrust. "I haven't been flogged by a rooster in quite a while."
Apparently, chickens make good watchdogs.
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...you can't walk five steps from the basement door to your backyard pool without chickens swarming around your ankles, looking up longingly into your eyes.
Apparently, chickens are well-schooled in Pavlovian conditioning.
and you would think that ordering chicken to eat would make them avoid you ......
ReplyDeleteWoah this is along the same lines of Chicken Run, but these chickens are a bit more aggressive and not as sweet as the chickens on Tweety's farm.
ReplyDeleteI think we must have been sisters in a different life! Sweet & Sour Chicken, General Tso's Chicken, Gas Station Chicken...YUMMMMM...
ReplyDeletePavlovian Chickens! Too funny! Are you sure they are looking at you longingly--or are they sizing you up???
At the risk of being too verbose (who me????) I will tell you a story of me and chickens. We were at friend's house for dinner. They live on a farm with the house near a major road on a corner and free range chickens running. Seeing the vehicles tearing around the corner in the road, I asked how often their chickens get hit by cars. Almost never was the reply. Last one was a rooster years ago. Wow! Surprised. A week later, the friend says 3 of her fowl were hit by cars--but not to worry--they were roosters and not the nice ones. Good riddance.
A week after that, 3 more, but this time 1 was a hen. Not as good as before, but nothing to worry about.
2 weeks after that, the body count was mounting. All of the roosters were part of the road and the hen count was mounting--they begged me never to come over for dinner again! LOL
Kathy,
ReplyDeleteYou would think. But they were somewhat aggressive, in a cock-of-the-walk kind of way.
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Chick,
Ya got THAT right! I think they've been watching The Birds instead of Chicken Run.
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labbie,
Yes. We have similar tastes. For fried poultry.
At one time we had 16 roosters and 6 hens. I complained incessantly to Farmer H that it was inhumane to expose those hens to constant courting. He refused to admit that anything was wrong. Then The Pony caught Farmer H whacking a rooster in the face with a blue plastic snow shovel as Rooster #11 was chasing a hen (who was running for her life, all the feathers worn off her back from too much lovin'). Farmer H finally loaded up two crates of roosters and took them to the auction.
I'm just wondering how many times it was YOU driving that car down the road by that farm.