Sunday, January 8, 2012

The Devil Is Killing Me With Kindness

The Devil finds work for idle Handmaidens. I am living, whining proof.

The Pony and I had our cart nearly ready for check-out this morning. It had been a rather uneventful trip to The Devil's Playground. I sent The Pony ahead on a reconnaissance mission to procure a Globe and a National Enquirer. Because I have to keep up with the latest conspiracy theories, you see. I headed for checkout #5, because it's not pinned between two shelves of last-minute junk. It has one side open to the 20 Items or Less mini-checkouts. The Pony knows where to find me there, after I dole out two dollars for game-playing while I'm in line.

As I headed toward checkout #5, edging out a late-comer with an overflowing cart, the Devil's Handmaiden assigned to checkout #4, of the 20 Items or Less grouping, stepped into my path. "I can take you on number four." Dang! In that instant, the late-comer whipped around me and pulled into checkout #5. I muttered. And went to #4.

Do you know how much extra work is required to set out a full cart's worth of items on one of those mini checkouts? They don't have conveyors. They have a short metal shelf, with another short metal shelf. There's a crack between them. You have to set out items, shove them over that crack as the Handmaiden catches up, and then dip back into your cart for more items. While people who actually have 20 items or less fume behind you.

I wanted The Pony to still have his reward. I told him to go on and play his games. "I would. But you didn't give me any money yet." Our routine had been upset. I fished the cash out of my pocket. I gathered the last of my items from the cart. I pointed out a case of Diet Coke so the Handmaiden could walk around and scan it. Because I wasn't about to heft it up and then back into the cart.

I'm sure the Handmaiden was only being nice. Perhaps she was new, and still had a work ethic. But there was no need to coerce me into the short lane. NOBODY was lined up. Checkout #5 was empty when I started over there.

Perhaps my grumpiness at her good deed will dissuade her from inconveniencing future customers with kindness.

4 comments:

  1. She was a newbie for sure. She took to heart those CBL's (computer based learning) that are forced upon each and every employee. She will not fit in well with her co-workers if she keeps this up!

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  2. I think you've hit the nail on the head. And somebody is likely to hit the Handmaiden on the head.

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  3. They have short shelves at the check out at Trader Joes...like you only have enough space to put MAYBE 3 items. I go to Trader Joes to buy their snacks. And who buys only 3 items on a snack run?

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    1. Chick,
      I'm sure there's some conspiracy afoot. It's an effort to curb our snacking.

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