I love me some down and dirty reality TV. And Sunday night, February 12, is the season premiere of My Strange Addiction. Oh yeah! From the commercials, this year's crop is mighty strange. Even more hard-core than the gal who chowed down on her sofa cushions. I'm sure you've been seeing the promos. If not, here's what you have to look forward to:
The Car-F*cker
This dude has no shame. ON CAMERA, he is seen laying on his back under his car. His hands are nowhere to be seen. He has a glassy look in his eye, and he is french-kissing the front bumper of his cherry-red auto. That car no longer has a cherry, believe you me. And the worst part is...it's not even a good car! I don't know my cars like Barrett-Jackson H, but that's no Lamborghini, Porsche, Rolls, Mercedes, or Ferrari. Not even a Cadillac. It reminds me of a Chevy Cavalier.
The Ear Gouger
Woman! Never put anything smaller than your elbow in your ear! That includes the largest pair of scissors I have ever seen that are not some specialty class, such as tin snips. There she is, a-diggin' and a-grinnin'. Okay, so maybe she's not grinnin'. Maybe she's in the throes of an eargasm. Maybe she needs to be introduced to the Car-F*cker.
The Nail Polish Imbiber
Young lady says she "drinks" nail polish. But the commercial shows her painting her tongue with it. Black. Natch. She hasn't heard that Goth is out.
The Cat-Snacker
No. She doesn't eat cats. That would be too normal for this show. She eats cat snacks. I'll bet she never hacks up a hairball. Old Mother Hubbard, feline division, would not be comfortable in this house. The cupboard is far from bare.
That's all I can remember. Isn't that enough? You can bet I'll be watching, even if I have to record it to savor later.
I think I might pass, but I do wonder about the car guy and how one copulates with a car. I mean, cars have sharp edges and one could slice their member and be in dire need of medical assistance. Just how does one explain this to a doctor?
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