Uptown got its hustlers. The Bowery got its bums. Forty-Second Street got Big Jim Walker...Mrs. Hillbilly Mom flaps her gums.
Okay. So I'm not really the subject of Jim Croce's song. And I'm flailing my fingers instead of flapping my gums. But I've got to let the annoyance flow out of me tonight. I spent the day working on my tax return.
Dang the Department of Revenue for not sending out those tax booklets any more! Like I want to waste MY money on ink and paper and an internet connection and a printer for the privilege of doing my taxes. Because have you heard? Only people with a low enough income can e-file for free. That's right! That little perk is reserved for folks who not only don't work to PAY taxes, they still get a hefty four-figure "refund." To spend on big-screen TVs, shotguns, and four-wheelers. It's called Hillbilly Christmas around here. It just comes shortly after January 1st.
I know I should not be grousing about the less fortunate being able to afford life's simple pleasures. But I can't help it. I bought my TurboTax software. I paid to e-file my Missouri return. Because by the time I fill in those online forms and print out my bar-coded mailables and assemble them and pay postage, I haven't saved any money. My time is money. I have to cut a check to one entity. And the refund from the other is not enough to cover that check.
Dang the #1 son for turning seventeen in December! He robbed me of a child tax credit. Dang Farmer H for having his stock turned into a retirement payout when his old company went through different hands! Dang us for having a reasonable mortgage with reasonable interest! More income. Fewer deductions. We earned more, but lost money over the course of 2011. How is that possible? It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook-up world.
Rich will be poor, and poor will be rich. Oh, it's already happened and I'm in a fix. And so's Lola. L-O-L-A, Lola.
Well, probably not. Because I'm pretty sure Lola gets paid off the books. In cash.
To compensate for the pesky habit of kids who insist on growing older, I give birth to a new one every three years. That ensures I will ALWAYS have at least one child tax credit.
ReplyDeleteCould be worse ..... ever been audited? I think I should be able to claim my four legged children!
ReplyDeleteSioux,
ReplyDeleteWAIT A MINUTE! This is APRIL 2nd! I'm not buyin' it!
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Kathy,
No. Never audited. But I made a stupid subtraction error years ago, and had to file an amended return. Oh, the SHAME! My face still burns. You'd think I didn't know how to use an abacus.
Your four-legged children are more spoiled than my regular children. Well, than one of them, anyway. The Pony has a hard row to hoe sometimes. But at least neither of them sniff my eyeballs. THAT I KNOW OF. Sometimes when they wake me in the recliner, their faces are THISCLOSE to mine...