What Is Mrs. Hillbilly Mom Full Of Today?

I'm not Heloise. But I'm chock full of helpful household hints.

Okay. The chock full part may be a bit of a stretch. By chock full, I mean I have one hint that is rattling around in my noggin today. And maybe a couple more stuck way back behind one of my little-used lobes. I'm going after them in a minute, with a purple metal mini flashlight, and a poking stick made out of a black plastic fork that lost two tines. Hey! That's a hint on how to make a poking stick to root out forgotten hints. I might start working on a coffee table book about coffee tables in my spare time.

Did you know that you can clean soap scum off a fiberglass shower stall by using oven cleaner? It's true! I read it on the internet. And I tried it myself after lunch. Be careful. You have to use the BLUE CAN of oven cleaner that is NO FUME. The internet called for Easy Off, but I found a store brand at a grocery store that I rarely frequent. It's still in a BLUE CAN. And has NO FUME.

I sprayed it on my shower floor and left it. The internet said you can leave it on for a whole weekend, and it turns to powder. That's not happening here at the Mansion, because we are clean people. We shower at least once a day. While Farmer H was away this afternoon, I foamed up the nubby bottom of the walk-in shower stall. I left it there for three hours. Just a little spot, the size of a pumpkin pie. I went back to find that the foam had liquified and turned clear. I was not optimistic.

The next stop was the laundry room, for a dryer sheet. That's what the internet said to wipe it with. I grabbed two used dryer sheets. There's no shortage of them on the floor. I send The Pony to bring me the laundry basket so I can fold, and when those sheets blow out, he leaves them where they land. They are quite slippery on gray ceramic tile. Just in case you might need to know that. IT'S A HELPFUL HOUSEHOLD HINT!

I folded those two dryer sheets and dampened them in the sink. Then I set to wiping off the oven cleaner on the shower floor. That spot was clean! I had to rub a bit on the outer edges, to get down between the nubs, but the task required surprisingly little elbow grease. The internet was right! I sprayed a lot more, and called Farmer H to tell him of my discovery, and let him in on the delightful secret that later this evening, he gets to wipe it off. Next weekend, I'm going to whitewash Aunt Polly's fence.

That BLUE CAN of NO FUME oven cleaner did a way better job than the scrubbing bubbles cleaner we normally use. And don't even mention CLR. That dirty dog is only good for glass shower doors around here at Hard Water Central.

While you were reading that, I managed to use my two-tined fork tool to dislodge another HELPFUL HOUSEHOLD HINT. It was as easy as coaxing a walnut out of its shell using a metal nutpick. The hint is, if you want to keep jeans from losing their color too fast, turn them inside out in the laundry. If you have boys, they'll even help you by taking them off so they're already inside out. Don't tell them that helps you. Or they'll stop doing it.

That's a helpful child-rearing hint.