Reports Of My Disappearance Might Have Been Greatly Exaggerated

Farmer H informed me this morning: "I'm going to buy cat food for your cats." Notice there was no mention of my sweet, sweet Juno, who enjoys a dab of cat food every now and then. I thought it better not to bring up her name. Not to ask for the kind of cat food that she prefers. Instead, I tried a redirect. With unexpected consequences.

"MY cats? I don't even like them. Only one, since my favorite was stolen by the neighbors a couple years ago." That was my mostly-white long-haired calico who LOVED me as much as Juno.

"She's probably in the freezer, next to Timmy's mom."

WHAAAAAAT?

Farmer H and several of the neighbors are suspicious. Not that they'd ever say anything, or go knock on the door.

"Nobody has seen her for a couple of years now. That's kind of strange, don't you think?"

"Well, nobody ever went to visit them anyway. The only time you saw her was when they called a cab to go to town. Timmy still calls the cab. Maybe she doesn't feel like going to town. She doesn't need to. She has Timmy."

"Alls I know is, that woman hasn't been seen in years. No funeral. No nothing."

"You wouldn't have been invited to a funeral. You probably didn't even know their last name. Maybe people thought I was in the freezer during those three days I was in the hospital."

It was a bit disconcerting that Farmer H had absolutely no response to that little nugget.