Mrs. Hillbilly Mom Can't Wait To Be Pasture-ized

I'd love to tell you all about my first day back at work, but time does not permit. We'll get to it, eventually.

What I WILL tell you is about The Devil's Handmaiden who yanked my chain, got under my skin, and basically rubbed me the wrong way on Sunday. I've had this checker before. She looks like Cruella DeVille, only she's not rich, and she's not tall, and she doesn't dress very well, what with that blue vest. But otherwise, she looks just like her. And she's older than Methuselah's grandpappy, but uses the hair dye one shade darker than mine.

Cruella asked about one of my purchases, as The Devil's Handmaidens are instructed to do, just to make small talk, you see, and seem all personable, and slow up the line. She asked if a big sandwich was going to be The Pony's lunch. My wait in line was so long, The Pony had finished up his car-driving in the game room, and was helping put bags in my cart. He looked at the big sandwich and said, "I hope not."

"Oh, that's going to be my lunch this week. I'm a teacher, and we're starting back tomorrow. I only have two more years, then I'm going to retire." I just divulged all my personal info, because, well, I'm excited about retiring and like to rub it in to anyone working who will listen...and because I thought if I talked, Cruella might do her job and get me out of that line before I drew my first retirement check.

"Huh. Every teacher I talk to seems SO HAPPY to be retiring."

Well. Excuse my glee. I've put in a full career, and I kind of think I've earned my trip out to the pasture. I suppose teachers are expected to work until they drop down dead clutching a dry-erase marker. We lead such charmed lives, apparently, that laymen begrudge us our golden years free from toil.

"It's not that I don't like working with the kids. It's everything else. Like the active shooter drills these days. When I first started, we never had to worry about anything like that."

"Shooting drills? Are they making teachers practice shooting now? To carry guns?"

"No. But it HAS been discussed in the state legislature."

"It's bad enough working here. Some days it's all I can do not to say something. You wouldn't believe what goes through here. And I never would have thought I'd ever have to tell my kids they need to carry a gun or a knife to protect themselves. Things are crazy these days."

Yes, Cruella. Ya got that right. Remind me not ask about what your kids do for a living. I'm better off not knowing.

I hope the people in line behind me enjoyed our little repartee. I'm sure they didn't have anything better to do.