Monday, October 6, 2014

This Gravy Train Has Left The Station

I did it. I finally went and did it. Something I have not done for two years.

I REMOVED THE GERM-X FROM STUDENT USAGE.

Sure, I only did it for two classes. But when kids can't responsible cleanse themselves, it's gotta go. First there was the class where a kid on the corner by the Germ-X station, where there is usually a kerfuffle going on with him kind of smack-dab in the middle, told me, "Watch your step, Mrs. Hillbilly Mom. I wouldn't want you to take a fall. It's kind of slimy over here. Let me get a tissue and clean that up." Which was really nice of him, cleaning up the mess, even though he's not the main Germ-X spreader. But still...his cronies brought the taking of the Germ-X from the whole class.

The very next hour, the kids were taking dripping handfuls again. So I stalked right across the front of the room, grabbed that giant vat of Germ-X, that, I might add, I purchase with my very own hard-earned cash, and continued down the side to my desk. I plopped that barrel of Germ-X in the windowsill behind my desk.

"What? Now we can't use the Germ-X?" asked a slinger I had just moved from his seat up front to the back nearer to me.

"That's right. You're not responsible enough to clean yourselves without making a mess. So it's going to stay there for a while. Not for everyone, of course. But for your class, and one other."

"But you can't do that! Stuff is going around! We'll get the Ebola!"

"Too bad, so sad. You'll have to be extra careful."

"What?"

"Bring your own Germ-X if you want. I'm not letting you play with mine for a while."

Let the record show that they still have Puffs With Lotion privileges. And only a handful of flingers seem all that concerned about the spread of germs each day.

3 comments:

  1. I used to have a vat of vaseline and a tub of Q-tips. Every day, kids were making hundreds of trips to moisturize their lips during the winter...and it all ended when a kid put their fingers into the vaseline and rooted around for a good-sized glob.

    No more.

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  2. You have once again proven to me that I could never do your job ..... I would be in jail.

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  3. Sioux,
    You, Madam, are going to be responsible for spreading The Ebola! I can't imagine leaving out such a tempting treat for my high-schoolers!

    ****
    Kathy,
    I would bake you a cake with a file in it. Well. Not so much "bake" you a cake as buy you one at The Devil's Playground and jam a file into the side, or warm a pile of Little Debbies in the oven or heat them in the microwave until they resemble one big cake.

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