This Is Why We Can't Make Logical, Well-Thought-Out Decisions

Perhaps you remember that the Hillbilly family has been discussing a new car for nigh on a year now.

T-Hoe is aging, growing decrepit, feeling his years. I am concerned that soon he will no longer be able to carry me. He is blind in his back-up eye bat-ping warning, he no longer can tell how much air is in each tire, he constantly cries silent warnings about needing service. He runs a permanent fever in his posterior controls. And he limps and stumbles in turns and in slowing himself.

Of course Farmer H bought a new used tractor on Saturday. Not so much bought it as put it on the credit card at an extra fee of 2.5 percent. That's because he said it would take more than that to go back a second day and pick it up with a check or cash. And I was not about to give Farmer H a wad of cash to take to an auction. No sirree, Bob! His logic is not logical. I seriously believe he can drive a truck pulling a trailer 84 miles and back for cheaper than $250, but he says not. He must be putting rocket fuel in that vehicle.

Anyhoo, Mrs. HM has no plans to drive this pretty blue tractor as her main vehicle. But with such a chunk of money forked over, she thinks a brand new car is not in her cards. We've been without a vehicle payment for three or four years now. No need to add another ball to the chain. So...last night I brought up the concept of buying a car a few years newer, with a few less miles, but with all of its components in working order. I even found one at a lot where we've done many previous deals, a replica of T-Hoe, two years newer, in a different color, but with 30,000 less miles. The thinking being that after a year or two, to trade up again.

You know what that meant. By 11:00 this morning, Farmer H had texted me about a car he found near work, four years newer than T-Hoe, with 45,000 fewer miles. Also a replica of T-Hoe, even the same color (what's the fun in that, people won't even know I got a "new" car) but without the sun roof (I hate a sun roof) and without heated rear seats (more reason for The Pony to ride up front like a normal person). I don't mind to check out this vehicle, but Farmer H had already made an appointment to drop by after work and talk to the salesmanlady (who just happens to bowl in the same league as him, who had given him a card for $100 finders fee if he referred a buyer her way). Like Tina Turner, Farmer H can never do anything nice and easy.

Last time Farmer H stopped to "look" at a car, he ended up driving it home and keeping it for a weekend. I made him give it back.

I'm really not ready to trade cars this week.