It Takes A Think Tank To Raise An Adult Child

On Thursday, we had to convene an emergency session of the Semi Weekly Meeting of the Newmentia Lunch Time Think Tank. Yes. That’s TWO meetings within the week. But we are not about to change our organization to the Bi-Weekly Meeting of the Newmentia Lunch Time Think Tank. That would be too taxing on the members, and take attention away from correcting the table manners of the entire freshman lunch shift.

Let the record show that the Think Tank has a member who is always lording it over on informing the rest of us how young he is, and how his parents are younger than us. Sometimes I just want to put him in a high chair and slap a bib around his neck. As with any toddler, his food choices are limited. Chicken nuggets, hot dogs, pizza, and sometimes a sandwich brought from home. Those are his staples.

On the table Thursday was a large foil pan of apple crisp, and a carton of vanilla ice cream, supplied by Jewels. Toddly had brought no lunch. The menu offered chicken vegetable soup and carrot sticks. Long gone are the days we had those delicious crusty hard-as-a-rock grilled cheese sandwiches and our vegetable beef soup. Toddly sat without a plate or tray, surveying that apple crisp. And vanilla ice cream.

“Y’all know I never ate an apple. Well. Once I took a bite out of one. And at Dixie Stampede, they had some folded dough thing—“

“Yes. An apple fritter.”

“And it was okay…”

“Yeah, they’re really good at the Dixie Stampede.”

“You know my wife is going to kill y’all. I’ve never tried it all these years, and now you’re making me eat it.”

Like we were holding him down. Personally, I think we should hold him down each day and hold his nose until he swallows a new food. Kind of like we're testing him for allergies. I'd had enough of this hemming and hawing.

"I THINK YOU SHOULD GROW UP AND START EATING ADULT FOOD! Sorry. I don't mean to be rude, but I've held it in all these years."

The table was guffawing, even Toddly. "Why didn't you say that before? THEY did!" He gestured to the other Think Tankers.

"I was just trying to be polite. But since I'm leaving at the end of the year, I see no reason to hold things in."

Let the record show that Toddly ate every crumb of the apple crumble, and every drip of the ice cream, and pronounced it "Okay."

Monday, we might try strained peas.