A Simple Lapse In Judgment Could Start An Epidemic

You'd think Mrs. Hillbilly Mom would know better, what with her vast career in the teaching profession. Perhaps she's addled lately, what with her impending retirement beckoning like a beacon on the horizon.

Yes, you'd think she'd know better than to let a pupil out of the room. No good comes of that. She's broken them in well over the first three-eighths of the school year. Not in the door, ready to begin when the bell rings? TARDY! If you ask to leave for the restroom once class has started, you may go. For the price of a tardy. And the added inconvenience of leaving your cell phone on the table at the back of the room.

So Mrs. Hillbilly Mom should have known to say NO when a studious lass asked to get her English homework after she turned in her test. Such cross-disciplinary activities are allowed, as long as Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's work is done, and the materials have been brought along. But no. This English lassie said she thought her test would take longer. Sweet Gummi Mary! It was 50 questions! What was she, an Evelyn Woods aficionado? Anyhoo, against her better judgment, Mrs. HM let lassie go.

Within three minutes, a laddie asked to fetch his government homework. It was important! He had just enough time to finish it, and not have to take it home!  Again, against her better judgment, weak-willed, wishy-washy Mrs. Hillbilly Mom let him go. It must have been the fact that she was in the middle of trying to get those tests graded, because she would be absent the next day for a doctor's appointment. Just say YES and get rid of the interruption.

You know what happened next, right?

Another lassie asked to return a book to the library. It MIGHT have been overdue! Nope. Negatory. Ixnay on the ibrarylay. "Sorry. I already let two people go. I shouldn't have. Now, if I let you go, ten more people are going to ask. So I'm sorry. But I can't let you leave."

That's the problem. It's a sickness. An epidemic. The first pupil to leave the room is like Patient Zero with Captain Trips. Anybody who encounters Patient Zero is infected. They MUST get up and go somewhere. Out of the room. "But you let HIM go!" Yeah. I like him better. Or I like him worse. Or I was preoccupied with something when I said yes. Or I didn't hear what the little low-talker asked. It's a miracle, really, that I'm not sitting here wearing a puffy shirt.

Mrs. Hillbilly Mom is putting her foot down. Nobody leaves without a tardy. A tardy that will be on the record until they reset after the end of the quarter. After three, you get an in-school vacation from the classroom.

Feelin' lucky?