There. I Said It. Girl Scouts Are Real Door Blockers.

I have nothing against Girl Scouts. I do have something against using them to make a profit.

Little girls do not dream about selling cookies. No. They don't. I was a little girl once. And I never had such an aspiration.

When I see the little girls standing outside The Devil's Playground, with the wind whipping their stringy hair across their pinched faces, running up to entering (through the EXIT door) and exiting (through the ENTER door) customers, asking them to buy cookies...it makes me sad. Little girls should not be spending their weekends hawking overpriced junk food. No. They should be playing.

Today, I spied a Mom Scout at Save A Lot. She had set up a table at the north entrance. Thank the Gummi Mary, the only parking spot I saw was by the south entrance. I leaned at a 45-degree angle and trudged across the parking lot against the wind. This is only the second time I've seen the Mom Scouts selling cookies at the Save A Lot. I guess somebody staked out the Devil's Playground doors early. Of course, it WAS 11:30 by now. The early Scout gets the high traffic areas, I guess.

So...I did my shopping. Not much to get there. Just a case of water, shredded lettuce (they only had ONE bag), hamburger, boneless chicken breasts, and salsa. I was headed back out the south door when I saw it, forming through the glass of the doors.

A NEW COOKIE EXTORTION STATION!

I rolled my wobble-wheeled metal cart across the threshold. Yet I couldn't leave! That store was like the Hotel California! There I stood, right on the metal door strip, unable to wheel my cart to the left around the metal railing between the IN and OUT doors. A little Girl Scout stood in the way.

I think she was a girl scout. They don't wear those little skirt/blouse/kerchief/beret uniforms anymore, you know. Not around here. This little girl, maybe seven years old, was in pink pants and a striped shirt. Another little girl her size was helping the Mom Scout move a white plastic table.

THERE WAS NO ROOM!

I said, "Excuse me," and the pink-pantsed little girl moved about a quarter of an inch toward the table. I barely squeaked by without rear-ending her with the cart. No apology from the Mom Scout. No admonishing the li'l gal to get out of the way. They were set up directly in front of the soda machine. They could have leaned on it to rest their backs.

Did you know that Save A Lot has thin mint cookies that are identical to Girl Scout Thin Mints?

I had half a mind to go back in there, buy a box, and set up my own table, offering people free tastes with a recommendation to buy a pack in the store.