Who Knows What Plans Lurk In The Head Of Farmer H?

You never know what goes on in the mind of Farmer H.

He sent me a cryptic text yesterday. I had been trying to contact him regarding the insurance for The Pony's new used car. What coverage, and whether we wanted to admit that The Pony would be the primary driver. I defaulted to the same coverage we have on T-Hoe, and let the cat out of the bag that The Pony will be taking this car off to college with him.

It doesn't pay to fool American Family, you know. What if The Pony was involved in a fender-bender, and then got stuck in a loophole because Farmer H was supposed to be the primary driver? Not gonna happen on Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's watch. No sirree, Bob! So we'll pay the extra thousands to insure our under-21 driver on his own car.

Farmer H's answer came 91 minutes too late for my insurance business. And it said, "No that's all fine X and Y had me in a meeting for almost 2 hours tell you about it tonight"

Huh. X and Y happen to be Farmer H's direct supervisor and the plant manager. So I had to respond.

"Are you in trouble?"

"No they are asking me about working part time without some of the things I hate anyway"

Well. Maybe Farmer H won't be underfoot so much after he kind-of retires in December!

This afternoon, I returned from town to find Farmer H riding his mower. I guess he was cutting grass. He was wearing his straw hat that makes him look like the farmer in that kids' movie Barnyard. I stopped T-Hoe in the driveway by where Farmer H was stopped. Admiring his handiwork, I guess. Or saving gas. I saw that he had moved The Pony's new used car from where he has to park now, to over beside the carport. The carport that houses Farmer H's main vehicle (my mom's old Chevy TrailBlazer) and Farmer H's copper-colored 1980 Olds Toronado under a car cover. Seriously. Why does it need both a car cover AND a space under the carport? It never gets driven.

"So...now that The Pony has a new used car, can he park under the carport? He asked me yesterday."

"No, he can't park under the carport."

"Can he park there behind the Toronado? There's room on the gravel. The Toronado isn't moving."

"I've been thinking about putting in a section for The Pony to park right there beside the driveway."

"You mean in front of that fence? By the carport?"

"No. I'll show you."

"Why can't you just tell me?"

"Because you won't understand."

"I don't know where you could be planning to make him park. You never could explain anything except one way. You think people should be able to see things like they are in your head."

"Just drive down like you normally do, and I'll show you."

So I drove T-Hoe down the driveway and stopped before going in the garage. I waited. And waited. For Farmer H to get that mower all the way down the driveway beside me.

"Right here."

"WHAT? That IS where he's been parking! He needs to get away from those trees so the pollen isn't all over his car. You said yourself that you took his truck through the car wash FOR FOUR DOLLARS that you're not getting back, because it had green stuff all over the hood."

"HM. This is not under the trees. It's BY the trees. I'm going to extend a little here--"

"It is EXACTLY where he's been parking, UNDER the trees. There's his tire prints right there! Why you need to 'put in' something here is beyond me! The Pony will be gone in three months! That will just be a waste of money to 'put in' something for him to park on. He will STILL be under the trees!"

"You don't understand anything." Off went Farmer H on his riding toy, maybe or maybe not with the mower blade down.

What I DO understand is that there is no reason to pay for gravel or concrete to put where The Pony is already parking on the other side of the driveway, under the trees. He had been happily parking where the carport is now, without benefit of a roof, until Farmer H paid for THAT monstrosity, and commandeered both spots--for his ride, and his collectible.

I hope that work thing works out for Farmer H. I, too, would enjoy him working part time. Without some of the things I hate.