This morning Farmer H returned to the Mansion as I was going through my morning routine, and plopped down on the short couch as if he had absolutely nothing to do, whilst I was trying to peruse my blog collection on Shiba. So I forgot to open up the online Mansion to leave a few cryptic notes on what I might right about this eve.
Then I went to town for my 44 oz Diet Coke, and to mail the insurance payment for the #1 Son's 2006 Mercury Mariner, and pick up a couple of NEW scratch-off tickets. Except only one place had those new $5 tickets, and it wasn't the gas station chicken store, thought the Man Owner DID tell me, "Oh, new tickets came out today," (AS IF...he thinks I'm some kind of amateur who didn't leave her New Delly running last night until after midnight, to look up the looks of the MO Money Monday new tickets being released today), "but we don't have ours because the truck hasn't been here yet." Huh. Why not just show pictures of a buffet to a starving woman, why don't you?
When I got home, Jack was all wet, Juno was tangly, and Copper was creeping ever-closer to get a taste of cat kibble. Farmer H was in the house, having come over to take a poop (his words) and grab some lunch before heading to his dentist appointment. I offered him one of my Chicken Bacon Ranch pinwheels (they expire tomorrow) or some bologna that he'd requested last week. Can you believe Farmer H said, "I don't think I want to eat garlic bologna when I'm going to the dentist." Such a suave rake he is now, concerned with his image according to a dental hygienist.
Once Farmer H elbowed his way into the kitchen while I was gathering my pinwheel, because his hot dogs had to be made RIGHT THEN, I managed to escape to my dark basement lair. The Big Brother house had a big blowup again, so I had to read updates. And I gladly gave away my World Famous Chex Mix recipe in lieu of a real post on my less-secret blog.
Before I knew it, Farmer H was back, stomping around over my head, and ready for his supper, which was the last of three nights of Terrible Tater with his Friday retirement dinner pulled pork. THEN I had to have my walk, and snack the dogs, and make my own supper. By now it was 8:30, and shortly after 9:00, the #1 Son called. And then there was that Big Brother brouhaha to catch up on again.
So you see, you're actually lucky that I'm putting out anything at all at the stroke of
HM--So, there is a big difference between a hot dog and garlic bologna, when it comes to offending a dentist?
ReplyDeleteDoesn't he brush his teeth before he goes to the dentist?
And I've heard the "I came home to take a dump" line too. What about QT? There is a Quik Trip on every corner around here. They have very clean bathrooms. Why can't he go THERE and do the smelly, lengthy event?
Sioux,
ReplyDeleteYes, there IS a big difference between a hot dog and garlic bologna, the main ingredient being GARLIC, which is not processed well by Farmer H's digestive system, apparently. He brushes his teeth in the morning, but I'm not sure about pre-dentist at 2:00.
No QT around here. I prefer the Hardee's, because it's right inside the door, and you don't even have to pretend that you're going to buy anything. In fact, he brought that "extra" sausage biscuit from Hardee's only the day before. I think this time, he must have had his breakfast at Country Mart's deli, and they don't have facilities for the public. That I know of.
Has he ever thought of using a breath spray?
ReplyDeletefishducky,
ReplyDeleteNo. This is a man who was thrilled to find his partial plate wedged in a mouse hole. Breath spray is beyond the realm of his imagination.
But I will attest that he doesn't really have a breath problem. Except for the garlic bologna. Ouch! That was so close to an almost-compliment that it actually hurt me to type it.
You are one busy lady! And, just so you know, garlic breath is not easily eliminated!
ReplyDeleteKathy,
ReplyDeleteYou'd think toothpaste would do it. I've heard that you can wash your hands with toothpaste to get rid of onion smell. I guess that garlic gets digested, and oozes out the pores, and the taste buds emit it in reverse!