Losers Gonna Lose

Friday Farmer H and I took some savings bonds on a little ride. Of course we had to bring them back home to deal with their redemption for our own selves, but we knew that was the procedure when we set out. Our adventure is detailed on my not-so-secret blog. The point here is that we were trapped together in T-Hoe for 3.5 hours. More details of THAT experience might be revealed at a later date, once I recover from the togetherness.

Anyhoo...I asked that we take T-Hoe because I didn't want to grind my knees getting in and out of A-Cad. As long as I had Farmer H behind the wheel, I asked if he would take T-Hoe through the car wash. I used to do it myself every couple of months, but that last time I drove in there, I freaked out. Don't know what was going on, but it was a flat-out panic attack. I had The Pony to sooth me (from his regular seat behind me, of course), but I did not feel like venturing back into the car wash. Especially alone. And now The Pony has had the nerve to go off to college on an almost-full ride and leave me behind in my dark basement lair, with a dirty, dirty car in the garage. If you doubt that, just ask my sister the ex-mayor's wife's husband, the ex-mayor. T-Hoe is filthy. Most of the time. The exception being if I'm out and about in a downpour. Let's face it. T-Hoe drapes himself in dust.

Farmer H veered right as we almost passed the Save A Lot complex, and took T-Hoe for a washin' first cat out of the bag. I didn't care WHEN he got washed. I just assumed it would be on our way home. Of course Farmer H put out his hand when he pulled up to the money-taking slot.

"What?"

"Do you have a five?"

"No. I don't have a five. I only have twenties. And a couple of ones, for my sodas."

"Huh. I think I might have a five."

Farmer H dug into his pocket and wallet and put money in the machine. I thought he had trouble with the five being spit back out, because he grunted a couple of times, and reached out the window again. The guy on duty came out and sprayed T-Hoe with a pre-wash, and then we pulled in. It was no big deal. I didn't feel the least bit nervous. Not even when Farmer H turned on the windshield wipers to get the bugs off, he said. I'm pretty sure that's not recommended. Anyhoo...I don't know what my fuss was about. I guess my brain realizes I'm not in danger of imminent death when I sit in a car wash, as long as Farmer H is in the driver's seat.

"I'll pay you back your five later, when I get change."

"Seven."

"What?"

"Seven. I got the automatic dry, too."

"Uh. We're going to be driving down the highway. Which I think will dry it. I'm only giving you a five."

Farmer H had no response to that. He just might be learning to pick his battles. However, when the green light came on, he was, as always, in a hurry to get going. So he barely waited long enough for those giant blowers to dry T-Hoe. They were still going as we left. I'm pretty sure he only got about 45 cents worth of his automatic dry.

After a morning fraught with...um...togetherness, my sentence day with Farmer H was done.

Our last planned stop was the gas station chicken store. Hopefully for my 44 oz Diet Coke, but their fountain has been out of my magical elixir. I got us some chicken for supper, and a couple of scratchers for myself. When I came out, the observant Farmer H said, "Did you forget your soda?" AS IF!!!

"No. They're still out. We have to stop by Orb K."

It's on our way out of town. No big deal. They have the second-best Diet Coke in town. As Farmer H parked T-Hoe, I said, "Oh, I can give you your five now, or I can just buy you a five-dollar ticket when I go in."

Let the record show that Farmer H NEVER wins, but a couple weeks ago, he stopped to get the newest five-dollar ticket. One that I had recommended, and shown him what it looked like with one of my winners. He had bought one for himself, won, bought another, won double, bought two more...then lost. I never buy one from the same roll after a winner, but it worked for him. A couple times.

Anyhoo...Farmer H said he wanted a ticket. I asked if he wanted that one he won on, or the newest ticket that came out Monday. He said the newest one. So I got it for him.

It was a loser.

You know that I buy tickets for Genius regularly, and he's had a couple of good winners. And that I buy tickets for HOS on occasion, after he's helped us, and twice he's had a $100 winner. I guess the luck doesn't work when Mrs. HM's ticket-buying magic is specifically requested.

I felt kind of bad for Farmer H. I even gave him his two dollars of car wash drying money.