He Rode Through The Alley With A Mom With No Name

Sometimes, I admit that your very own Mrs. Hillbilly Mom is as clueless as Farmer H. That in fact, on occasion, she puts the very "I" in IMBECILE. The first "I" not the second one. She's not a two-"I"ed imbecile.

Wednesday, The Pony and I went to our bank branch to set a password for his credit card account. In building credit, I figure me might as well get used to online banking. It's all the rage with those hep cats in college, I hear, when they're not stuffing themselves into phone booths and swallowing goldfish. Right now, we are having his statement mailed home, to make sure it gets paid on time, and actually build credit, not destroy it. I had to be on the account as well as him, in order to get him his first credit card. Anyhoo...that's neither (heh, heh, I first typed neighther, get it, for The PONY) here nor there, because his bill will be paid on time, but he still needs to be able to check on it online.

Problem is, the online banking won't let him in. He has also forgotten the PIN for his regular bank account, which he never uses, instead operating out of a credit union account at his college. So we had two problems on two accounts. A PIN and a password. Silly me. I thought we could just waltz in there (wouldn't THAT be a festive sight to see) and take care of it toot sweet.

The teller tried to help us, but couldn't. She called someone else, who said we would have to sit down and wait for a desk discussion. It didn't take long. That Gal was having trouble as well. She asked for The Pony's debit card on his regular account, and said how much she liked that style of card, but that it was discontinued. She also mentioned that her first name was the same as mine, and spelled the same way.

THEN, after trying five minutes to get into his account to reset the PIN, discovered that the account had been made inactive, due to...um...inactivity. True. We don't deposit or withdraw from it. But a fee comes out each month for a paper statement. Apparently that is fine, but doesn't make the account active. It's good enough for the bank to TAKE money from, but not good enough to leave open so The Pony can use it in an emergency. Sweet Gummi Mary! That's kind of like the rental car people TAKING a reservation, but not HOLDING a reservation.

Anyhoo...after about 20 minutes of fiddling, That Gal discovered that The Pony couldn't set up his online banking for the credit card because the credit card was linked to his regular account...which was inactive! The solution? Make a withdrawal or deposit, as little as $1, to reactivate the account, and then come back tomorrow and ask for That Gal.

"What was your name again?"

"Oh. Here. I'll give you my card."

I gave her some cash to deposit, we thanked her, and left. As I was headed out the back alley behind the bank, to get to a more left-turn-friendly exit, I told The Pony

"I'm glad she gave us her card. I would have had no idea who to ask for, and we might have got stuck trying to explain all that again."

"Uh. Her first name is exactly the same as yours. She told you that."

"NOOOO! Now I look like the biggest idiot ever! I asked her for her name again. WHICH IS THE SAME AS MINE! I'm so stupid!"

"Shall we never speak of this again, Mother?"

"We shall not! I'll never live it down! No wonder she looked at me like that. DUH! I can't believe I did that."

"You don't have to explain it to me. I'm pickin' up what you're layin' down. And to your credit, I think they actually called her something else when they went to get her. Like Katie. Not your actual name."

"Well. There's that."