Fresh on the heels of yesterday's tale of Farmer H's foibles...another food faux pas came to light this evening shortly after sunset. I really hate to go back-to-back with complaints about Farmer H.
HA HA HA HA HA!
Like I'd ever regret THAT! No, I have no qualms about sharing the latest outrageous pronouncement of Farmer H concerning the foodstuffs found in FRIG II.
I had just served Farmer H his supper. That means I had prepared it, and he went to the kitchen and put it on a plate and carried it to his La-Z-Boy. I knew he was going to do that. I'm not complaining about that part. It's the routine now. I made his asked-for hot dogs rolled in biscuits. I went to sit on the short couch, to have dinner conversation with him.
As Farmer H's dinner was consumed, and conversation waned, I said that I was going to make my own dinner, which would be ham on the biscuits that weren't used for hot dog rolling.
"Oh. That's what I'll make myself for supper tomorrow when I'm ready. You won't have to. I'll use that ham steak you have in there, and some eggs."
"I don't have a ham steak."
"Yeah. In the refrigerator. In that black wrapper."
"That's not a ham steak. It's sliced ham."
"Okay. It looks like a thick piece of ham. I'll have that."
"No. It's just slices, in a pack. From WAY BACK, when you were making yourself a ham sandwich for lunch every day. Probably before Christmas."
"No. It's a thick piece of ham. I'll have that."
"You can't eat that! It's too old! I was just looking at it this morning. It's on the shelf by the cheese. I know what you're talking about. I'm giving it to the dogs, but I didn't want to lay it out on the counter. Don't eat it! I can buy you a ham steak when I go to the store."
"Well, that one's in there. It'll be fine."
"I'm done! There's no talking to you."
I went to the kitchen and poked my arm into the depths of FRIG II, and pulled out that package of 4 ham slices with an expiration date of JAN 23, 2018. I took it into the living room and waved it under Farmer H's nose.
"HERE! I was trying to tell you! Why can't you ever listen to me? Go ahead and eat it. I'm putting it back in."
"No. I don't think I should eat that."
EXACTLY!
But he would have.
I need to clear my fridge of assorted condiments and salad dressings. I buy the smallest bottles available, but use very little dressing or sauce on any foods, so there's always a lot left at the end of the season and it just sits in the fridge, unused until I get around to clearing out. Ditto things shoved to the back of the pantry. I used to clear out more often, but I've got lazy.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure Farmer H WOULD have eaten that ham if you hadn't pointed out the expiry date. and then blamed his food poisoning on you (*~*)
River,
ReplyDeleteI buy things we don't use a lot, like when the boys are coming home for a holiday meal. Then I forget that it's there. Plus I'm really, really lazy!
I, too, am sure Farmer H would have poisoned himself by being right, and then pointed me out as the one in the wrong for near-killing him.
This all sounds so normal to me. Is that sad?
ReplyDeleteKathy,
ReplyDeleteSad for both of us. Not for Farmer H or HeWho. They will survive, despite their careless actions, because we are always there as a buffer between them and LIFE.