You're never going to believe this. Okay. You will. You MOST CERTAINLY WILL believe this. I'm still struggling with it, but then, Mrs. Hillbilly Mom is known as a cockeyed optimist...
FARMER H HAS BEEN HOLDING OUT ON ME!
It's true. As generous as I am with my casino and lottery winnings, as generous as I am with our joint checking money that Farmer H himself earned 2/3 of all these years...I found out that Farmer H has a stash. I cry shenanigans!
All those times I gave Farmer H casino money! Feeling sorry for him that he did not have a bulging casino bankroll like I did, from putting back part of my winnings. And lump sums of larger wins. Even after donating a large portion to others for gambling fun at Christmas time in years past, though not this one. That's just me. I'm so selfless...
Farmer H, apparently, is not.
Tonight we were carrying out a decision we made over the past week, of helping out someone who was behind on their electric bill. Way behind. Had the power cut off, and the thingy that spins around showing your usage removed from the outside of the home. Farmer H was getting the specifics, the exact amount, the account, and where to go pay the bill. That's because we don't want our names associated with it! So Farmer H was going to pay in person, with cash or money order, no check.
The original plan involved taking some money out of one of our savings accounts. Since Farmer H is a spur-of-the-moment kind of guy, he had to do it now. RIGHT NOW! Like, at 4:45 p.m. I guess maybe the payment station stays open late. It IS in a grocery store, so I guess it's good for those hours. Anyhoo...Farmer H said he'd have time.
"I can go down to the credit union tomorrow. For now, I'll go get my money bag out of the safe. I have enough."
"WHAT? You have THAT MUCH money?"
Let the record show that at first we were led to believe that the arrears was around $1000. But when getting the specifics, Farmer H discovered that to get the power back on, the cost would be over $1600.
HE HAD THAT MUCH MONEY SOCKED AWAY FROM HIS STORAGE UNIT STORE!
Sweet Gummi Mary! That's dirty pool, taking my handouts of OUR money all this time, pretending to be a casino pauper! Even when I'd been telling him all month that this would be the last time that I gave him anything to gamble with, he didn't happen to mention his cash stockpile.
When I mentioned that I sure would have like to have MY casino gambling subsidized by money from our checking account, he said, "Well, I NEED my money, for paying rent on my storage unit, so I can run my store! It's how I make money."
"Well, I would LIKE to have the same amount I've given you for the past year, to BUY MY LOTTERY TICKETS! That's how I make money!"
"Yeah, but mine is my hobby. I have to have something to do."
"Lottery tickets are MY hobby!"
Right now, we are agreeing to disagree on Farmer H's entitledness. I have no intention of taking any of OUR money as compensation for all that I gave to Farmer H. All I wanted was for him to see how ridiculous his reasoning is, and apologize for leading me to believe that he NEEDED that money in order to enjoy a day at the casino with me.
I don't think I achieved my goal.
And don't think you ever will...
ReplyDeleteAnd Farmer H has to have something to do? Why can't he find something to do that would take him out of town for a few days every week, so you could have some alone time?
I remember having my own secret stash of cash way back when hubby#1 was drinking and smoking and gambling away his wages, the mortgage money and his Army pension. I lived in fear every day that he would find it and then I couldn't pay the bills or buy food. He never did find it and probably still doesn't know I had it.
ReplyDeleteI think you're right saying Farmer H hasn't learned a lesson.
Sioux,
ReplyDeleteI get a surprisingly decent amount of alone time because Farmer H has discovered NEW AUCTIONS! He's off to one tonight, with a buddy of his driving. I guess news of Farmer H's sweaving precedes him. They left at 3:00, so I'm footloose and fancy free until late tonight!
***
River,
You must have had a really good hiding place. The best one I can think of is the back of the bottom shelf of FRIG II, wrapped in foil.
I'd tell you where, but then any potential burglars reading this would also know, so I won't.
ReplyDeleteRiver,
ReplyDeleteLoose lips sink ships, and flighty fingers attract internet-theft-ringers. Keep that secret.