I'm NOT! No siree, Bob! I'm NOT picking up that plate! Not only because I'm hard-headed and vengeful, but because around here, no good deed goes unpunished, and no good deed garners a Thank You.
That's Farmer H's plate, by cracky! Left there by him when I was in the shower on Saturday, when he came home early from the Storage Unit Store because of rain, rather than me meeting him there to go to the casino. While I was cleansing myself before spending hours in a smoky environment, Farmer H was hot-dog-loading for energy. Can you tell which cushion he sat on? I knew you could.
It's Tuesday, you know. That plate is still there. And here's part of the reason why...
As we were going out the door to get in A-Cad to leave for the casino, Farmer H walked RIGHT BY a bag of trash that needed taking out. Seriously. It was right there. I'd already taken it out of the wastebasket. Already put in a new bag. Already tied up the top of the old one. Yet Farmer H walked right by it.
"I can't believe you're walking out with nothing in your hands! I have my purse and my water cup. You have NOTHING."
"Oh. Well. I didn't know if it was ready to go out. There's not a knot in the top. That one time you said I took it too soon."
"That was when I had it sitting there with the top open, to put last-minute trash from the Easter meal in it as I was preparing it. Before taking it out. You never take out the bathroom trash, either! I bet I've done it the last 30 times!"
"Well, I don't put anything in it."
Yeah. His old razors and pharmacy bags and bandaids just dance themselves to the kitchen like the "Let's all go to the lobby" singing movie treats, I guess.
"I don't track mud into the house, either, but I'm the one who sweeps it up. I don't eat chili dogs, but I cook them and chop up the onions and shred the cheese. Then wash the dishes."
Farmer H had no answer for that, other than a heavy sigh as he picked up the trash bag with his formerly empty hands.
You probably also smell the gas after he eats the chili dogs...
ReplyDeleteYeah, something happens to men as they grow up. Their hands become incapable (of cleaning toilets or putting things away) and their hearing starts failing (when it comes to "Please wipe off your shoes") and yet their ears work quite well if there is an announcement about female nudity.
It's very strange...
Are you sure that was Farmer H & not MY husband?
ReplyDeleteSo he picked up that trash bag but didn't go back for the empty plate as well? Tut Tut.
ReplyDeleteVery nice couch.
Sioux,
ReplyDeleteFunny how the dulling of some senses leads to the sharpening of others...
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fishducky,
Pretty sure. I didn't do a DNA test, though. Another suspect might be Kathy's husband, HeWho.
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River,
YES! But the plate DID disappear by Wednesday morning. I thought he might wait it out like that suitcase that needed to be carried downstairs.
We like the couch. It wasn't expensive, and we have a short one with two cushions that matches it. Just firm enough, and doesn't show dirt.