Friday I entered The Gas Station Chicken Store to the sound of banging. No, the Lady Owner and her husband weren't gettin' busy! It was the sound of actual hammers, banging on the back wall, above the beer cooler area. Which would explain the two construction company trucks parked outside.
I could not have worked there that day. Not that I'd want to. I've worked in a convenience store, and this one is cramped and right off the highway, and I don't think my nerves could take it. I KNOW my nerves couldn't take that hammering. In the time it took to run 44 oz of Diet Coke out of the spigot, I had nearly given myself a headache fretting over the next bang.
At the counter, the Lady Owner waited on me at the second register. I guess she wanted to get customers out of there as quickly as she could, so they might not get annoyed with the banging. I noticed that she had her husband the Man Owner stocking shelves, and not running the main register. He's kind of slow at it. She had her #1 clerk working it.
"What are you building?" I asked. Twice. Because of the banging, you see. It was LOUD.
"Oh, we're not putting in anything new. Just repairing the security mirrors."
Some stores have security cameras. The Gas Station Chicken Store has mirrors. They're old-school. You even pump before you pay for gas.
"Earlier today, one of them came crashing down, only 6 seconds after an elderly couple walked away from there."
Well. I was just about to say how that was BAD LUCK to break a mirror, but then I figured it was really GOOD LUCK that nobody got hurt. Because a mirror the size of a piece of plywood, mounted above your head, can do some damage if it falls on your noggin. I guess that elderly couple was lucky that they made their liquor selection in a hurry, or decided not to imbibe that day.
Yes, a shattering mirror could have killed the elderly couple, you know. Especially if they were taking Xarelto, the devil's drug, like I used to take when recovery from my bilateral pulmonary embolisms. You can bleed out. I'm not exaggerating. There's no antidote for Xarelto! You keep bleeding until the half-life of the drug evolves and gets itself out of your system. I think that takes 2-3 days. As if you have that kind of time when a mirror sliver severs an artery! It's not like the old-fashioned warfarin where you can get a shot of vitamin K to reverse it and start clotting.
Anyhoo...I'm really glad the elderly couple wasn't harmed. Not that I'm so caring about what happens to other people. The Pony comes by that honestly. No, I wouldn't wish such a fate on anyone, especially in The Gas Station Chicken Store. I might slip in a puddle of blood while getting my 44 oz Diet Coke!
Let the record show that no amount of orange cones or yellow tape is going to keep me away from the soda fountain.
There is an animal that lives on the African plain that kills more people than lions... and it's a herbivore (I believe). You never want to get between the river and this animal.
ReplyDeleteI guess anyone between you and the soda fountain is risking their lives, right?
That Xarelto sounds like scary stuff, I hope I never need to take it or anything similar for that matter.
ReplyDeleteThat elderly couple probably got your share of Even Steven's luck those days you weren't finding pennies or winning scratchers. He saved it up just to keep the from harm.
Sioux,
ReplyDeleteYes, Madam. Mrs. HM is the HIPPO of The Gas Station Chicken Store.
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River,
They wanted me on if for a year, but I argued about it, and was allowed to stop that "standard of care" bullcrap against their advice. The replacement? A daily aspirin.
I would gladly transfer my luck to keep an elderly couple alive to buy their alcohol another day.
Obviously, your 44 oz. Diet Coke is necessary for medicinal reasons!!
ReplyDeletefishducky,
ReplyDeleteObviously! It's a medicinal elixir as well as a magical elixir.