We're just a hop, skip, and a jump away from a future of machines ruling us all! Technology is poised to take over Hillmomba! As evidence, I provide the following vignette.
Farmer H stopped by Casey's to put gas in A-Cad before we picked up my favorite gambling aunt for our trip to the casino on Wednesday. No, we all lost. There. Got that out of the way. Anyhoo...Farmer H paid at the pump, but went in to get himself a bottle of water and two scratchers. No, he lost. Anyhoo...I was sitting in the shotgun seat, minding my own business, visions of jackpots dancing in my head.
I wanted to check the time, and see if perhaps Auntie was running behind. That happens sometimes. So I looked down at my phone, which I had laid in a slot on A-Cad's console. It was sideways, and I knew I'd have to pick it up, but I was shocked to see the Google colorful spinny pinwheel thingies rotating on the black screen. I picked it up, wondering why my phone had done a reboot. Even if it updates apps (which I don't want it to do automatically, but it has been for many months now), it doesn't restart. If I manually choose to update the Android thingy, I have to select RESTART manually as well. So this made no sense.
By the time I had that phone in my hand, it had already restarted itself. I swiped the screen up to first of all check the time, and see if there was an incoming text from Auntie. Huh. That was very odd.
THE TIME WAS 6:01
However, we had left home at noon, to meet Auntie at 12:30, and I had assumed the time was now around 12:20. SWEET GUMMI MARY! The date on my phone, just under the 6:01, read
WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 31
What in the Not-Heaven??? Was I in some kind of paranormal Philadelphia Experiment? Perhaps the Hillmomba Experiment? Was I time-traveling? I quickly turned my phone off and dropped it back into the slot of the console. That fixes most gadgets, right? You turn them off, and then back on. It works for my DISH receiver when it goes all wonky, even though sometimes I need to completely unplug it rather than just use the power button. And Genius himself has told me to do that with the router (whatever it is) when I suddenly have no internet and can't figure out why.
Farmer H returned. I suppose I had never been quite so glad to see him being his regular self.
"My phone went crazy! It turned itself off and on, and then the time was 6:01, and the date was Wednesday, December 31st!"
"Huh."
I guess it's a credit to Farmer H that he only grunted, and did not twirl his crazy finger near his temple.
"I'm hoping it will be okay when I turn it back on, but if not, I figure my phone has died. It also said NO SERVICE at the top, and I ALWAYS have service here. I even send myself pictures because I have such a good signal. I'll try it when we get over to Country Mart to pick up Auntie. Wait! The very best service I get is at The Gas Station Chicken Store! I'm turning it back on now."
So as we made our left turn at the light in front of the GSCS, I turned my phone back on, and EVERYTHING WAS PERFECTLY NORMAL.
Technology. It's in cahoots with The Universe, conspiring against me.
I bet it was Google Earth tracking where you were at that moment in time. They're sneaky buggers, always knowing exactly where everyone is. But I like them, because I can zoom around the world from the comfort of my home and see places I would never otherwise get to.
ReplyDeleteRiver,
ReplyDeleteEXACTLY! That's why technology can't be trusted. I've tried to turn off that Google location thingy, and even though it looked disabled, it STILL tracks me. Showed my whole route to Oklahoma months ago, after it was supposedly turned off.
We want technology but what we get is CHAOS!!
ReplyDeletefishducky,
ReplyDeleteWhere is Maxwell Smart, with his shoe phone, when you need him? He must be stuck under that cone of silence, and can't hear our cries.