Out Of The Frying Pan, Into The Dog House

Farmer H is treading on dangerous ground. He's used to having his feet held to the fire, sitting on the hot seat. But Monday he almost went too far.

It started out as one of those favors he does for me. Just trying to help. I dashed into the Mansion after returning from my replacement-SHIBA shopping trip, having taken my blood pressure meds while out and about. Farmer H strolled out the door and said, "What do you got?"

"Just my purse, and a laptop and bag of accessories in the back."

Time was short that day, preparing for our trip to visit The Pony, departure scheduled for 6:00 a.m. Tuesday. I still had to bake his Oreo Cake and pack. I'd planned on baking before I went to town, but didn't want Office Max to sell out of my intended bargain, what with the back-to-school crown having their first-of-the-month money to spend. But I'd gotten the Oreos chopped, and had everything set out on the counter for mixing, with the cutting block cleared for filling the pans with batter.

When I came out of the bathroom, I saw that Farmer H had plopped my NEW LAPTOP, in its box, right on the cleared cutting block.

"I can't believe you did that! Any place I clear off, you have to fill it!"

"Well, I don't know where else you expected me to put your new laptop."

"Oh, I don't know...maybe on top of my OLD laptop? Or the coffee table right beside it? Or one of the couches?"

Sweet Gummi Mary! WHO puts a new laptop in the kitchen???

I also bemoaned the fact that the stupid mailman woman must have misread my HOLD MAIL form that I turned in last Thursday, for mail to stop from Aug 7-9. However...at 8:30 p.m., Farmer H deigned to inform me that he'd picked up the mail at 3:30. I was washing up last minute dishes then, after icing the cake and getting my supper. I found the mail and opened it, to see TWO notices, one to me and one to Farmer H, that the bank where we have the loan on A-Cad said they had been notified that our insurance was cancelled.

THE NOT-HEAVEN IT WAS!

More of Farmer H's doings. Remember, how he had saved us $2000 over a year's time, by putting ALL of our vehicles on the same policy? So the premiums for all of them fall on the same date and bill. Which required re-configuring the policies, first cancelling the old ones and then issuing the new one. We got all new insurance cards to keep in the vehicles, with the new policy number. Apparently, that bank pays attention to notices that a policy is cancelled, but not notices that a new policy is in effect the same day.

Since we found this out at 8:30 p.m., Farmer H was going to have to find a place to stop with cell phone service on the way to Oklahoma. Which is not as easy as you might think across backwoods Missouri. He'd have to call the insurance lady and have her provide the proof to the bank. Farmer H had the bright idea to just send her an email right then, but of course an insurance card lists the agent's phone number and address, but not the email.

Oh, yeah. And another thing. When I went to ice the cake, my cake-icing knife was missing. I found it on the counter by the sink, Farmer H having used it to butter a roll. All the knives available, and he chose that one. It's just a butter knife, but not part of my set of 8 that are heavy on the handle end. This was one of my mom's that we ended up with (sorry, Mom, if you spent years griping that someone lost one of your butter knives), and I like the balance of it for icing cakes.

Farmer H might want to watch the auctions for one of those little hand-held personal fans. Because I'm not done roasting him here. Not by a long shot.