Overstaying And Oversharing

I had lunch with my favorite gambling aunt Wednesday. I haven't talked to her in forever. But when we DO talk, it takes forever.

I was saved on the original phone call, because I was in line at the bank. Actually, I was waiting for my receipt to come back in the canister at the drive-thru when her call came in. Not that such a position saved me. It was the fact that SHE was in line at her own bank, and her turn came up. So we hastily agreed on the time and place for lunch. Our usual meeting place, Pizza Hut.

Let the record show that we don't have the lunch buffet. No siree, Bob! We show restraint. A personal pan for each of us, hers with a single trip to the salad bar, mine with a takeout personal pan for Farmer H's supper.

I would feel sorry for the waitress, but we leave a good tip. After taking up a table for 2 hours. Hey! It's not like Pizza Hut is crowded on a Wednesday at 11:30.

After catching up on all the latest gossip, Auntie started talking about how naive she was during her early years of teaching.

"I was on playground duty, and these two kids ran up and said, 'You need to do something about Cindy and Robbie! They're FRENCHING!' I patted their heads and sent them off, saying, 'Okay, I'll watch them.' But they wouldn't leave! They said to each other, 'I don't think she knows what we mean.' I told them, 'No, not really. WHAT is it that they're doing?' And they said, 'Putting their tongue in each other's mouth!' So I said, 'YOU TELL THEM TO COME OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!'"

"Yeah. We had a Behavior Disorder teacher who couldn't keep up with the kids. She had 11 of them, and they were always writing stuff about her on the board when they walked behind her desk. Then she'd get all mad, and demand to know, 'WHO keeps writing the EFF WORD on my board?' One day, the two liveliest ones were goofing around when they came in the room. Seventh graders, picking and poking at each other, not fighting, but the kind of stuff that can lead to a fight. So she told them, 'I wish you two would stop FINGERING EACH OTHER and settle down.!' Oh, they stopped, all right. They were laughing so hard they couldn't do anything else. It took one of the other teachers to explain it to her at lunch in the teacher workroom."

Ah...good times, reminiscing with my favorite gambling aunt.