Sunday, August 19, 2018

You'd Think He Would Have Learned By Now

Farmer H is not helping his case.

I've been having a terrible time getting around since our Pony visit. Being confined to the car for 9 hours going out, and 13 hours coming back, was no picnic. Nor the fluid restriction that it required for Mrs. HM's continence. Let's remember that she is used to having a 44 oz Diet Coke every day, with a side bottle of Diet Coke, plus a bubba cup of ice water, refilled 3 times. Oh, and unlimited access to the Mansion's bathrooms.

Anyhoo...my joints have been creaking, especially my left ankle, on the inside edge, under that bone. If you are a student of biology, you might recognize it as the medial malleolus. I've had problems with it since Genius's graduation last December. On our picture-taking tour, we hiked over blacktopped hill and dale. More walking than I was used to in my driveway, on a hard surface, without my regular walking shoes. I didn't want to complain, or hold back, so I soldiered on. What's a little discomfort when your firstborn is matriculating?

Ever since, the inner ankle has been a little uncomfortable. But since this trip, the pain is almost unbearable. I figure I aggravated it, with all the casino walking, and then held it an immobilized prisoner in the car, only to stump around on it thanklessly at every rest stop.

Saturday evening, as I was sitting down while waiting on Farmer H's supper to need turning in the oven, I said, "I guess I'm just going to start fasting for a few days. Maybe that will lessen the load on this ankle. It's probably just arthritis acting up."

Well. You'd think I might have gotten some commiseration from Farmer H. Some tut-tutting and poor-dearing, and perhaps an offer to make his own supper (not mine, of course, since I would save him the trouble by fasting) for a few days. But no.

"Yeah, maybe you should. You used to do your walking, but now you've stopped--"

"Says the man whose doctor--I mean nurse practitioner--tells him every three months that he needs to be walking."

"Well, I go to my storage locker and over to the BARn. You don't."

"No, I don't. It hurts my ankle. And knees. Way more than it used to. So I'm going to cut back for a while, and see if that helps them feel better, in which case I can walk again. I can barely get the dumpster up there an back, it hurts so much."

"Yeah. I don't eat nearly as much as you do."

"WHAT? You ate TWICE what I did at the casino buffet on Wednesday!"

"Well, I let myself do that at a buffet. But I don't every day. I don't eat nearly as much as you think I do."

"I make your food. YOU'RE the one who goes to get donuts, and eats a metal baseball cap of ice cream at the buffet. Admit it, you would have eaten BOTH of those Milky Ways that fell out of the machine at the rest stop, if I hadn't harped at you not to! AND you've eaten a whole bear-shaped plastic jar of animal cookies in a week. You're not supposed to have sugar!"

"You bought those cookies TWO weeks ago! And I'm not supposed to eat most of the stuff I eat. The buns on the hot dogs, potatoes, these fries you just made me..."

"You ASKED me for those fries! Every time I offer you a big salad, you want something else!"

"Well, there's things in a big salad I shouldn't have, either."

"Huh. I don't know what that would be. Lettuce, eggs, mushrooms, tomatoes, cheese, chicken, dressing. Didn't know those weren't allowed."

SERIOUSLY? Farmer H is going to blame ME for what I'm preparing him, when HE feeds the sugar monkey on his back in supposed secret?

I don't think so.

6 comments:

  1. If we are what we eat, it sounds like Farmer H is a big cookie (a la mode)!!

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  2. fishducky,
    I can't believe he's trying to pin his habits on ME! I'd have him pegged more as a hot dog, though. But it seems he's recently forsaken them. Only two have disappeared without explanation.

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  3. The BUNS on the hot dogs? You mean the actual hot dog, all that processed meat, is okay? yikes. And why are you making him fries that he isn't supposed to eat?
    I shouldn't talk, I'm on a limited list of foods myself which I've been ignoring about 60% of since winter began.
    Can I suggest getting some sports tape and strapping the ankle for support and see if that helps. If you can manage to walk, slowly of course, with the ankle strapped, it's likely just a bit sprained and the support will help it. You walk and regain strength in it while the tape holds it in position. Otherwise, get it looked at before your knees and hips are affected.

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  4. River,
    The buns, because of the carbs, not good for his diabetes. I guess I could make him nothing, and let him drive to town for donuts...

    I wore my other shoes, that are higher around the ankle, and that helped on my trip to town. I've kept taking ibuprofen (rather than skip it one day in every three like my NURSE PRACTITIONER says to save my kidneys) for the inflammation. Right now it's about 60% better, though a bit swollen.

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  5. A bit swollen suggests a sprain which usually needs the R.I.C.E. treatment and all I remember about that is Rest, Ice, something and Elevation. So, rest your foot on an elevated cushion with an ice pack to reduce swelling. no idea what the C is for. Possibly Compression, which is a compression bandage, similar to sports tape.

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  6. River,
    FRIG II has been withholding ice from me since we got back from our Pony visit! Before we left, I'd been enjoying the salad days, when ice was overflowing the bin. Once I started using it regularly again, FRIG II got all stingy with it. Still puts out a little bit, nothing wrong that I can see. I've chipped away any ice stuck in front of the sensors.

    Still a bit swollen, not red or hot, only painful if I'm on it for more than five minutes. I keep it elevated in my OPC, with my sock top folded down compressing the swelling. It goes down quite a bit overnight.

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