How's that for a joke-starter? Not quite as catchy as a blonde and a brunette walking into a bar (actually it was just the blonde, because the brunette ducked).
Ba dum tss!
Thanks! I'll be here all week. Honestly, I'll be here way longer than a week. Can't say the same for my audience.
My daily travels led me to such a promising joke set-up. I crested a hill on the county road on my way to town, and saw one of those side-mounted lawnmower thingies on a county road department truck, chewing up tree limbs that were encroaching on the pavement's air space. It was coming towards me, so I slowed way down. Stopped, actually, watching my rearview mirror nervously, lest a speeder come over the hill behind me.
When I looked back out the windshield, I saw our new garbage truck about to pull out of a driveway, right in front of that side-mower truck. Well. That would certainly be unfortunate. Even though I knew our trash had been picked up for the day. You don't want your white garbage truck with the red-white-blue flag painted on the side to have its front end chewed up by a side-mower. Then again, you don't want your county tax dollars wasted on repairing a side-mower rammed by a garbage truck.
It was a dilemma kind of like the old Reese's Peanut Butter Cup commercial. "You got chocolate in my peanut butter!" "No. You got peanut butter on my chocolate!"
The side-mower truck saw the garbage truck, and backed up to let it out of the driveway. While I contemplated what that driver might have said if there was an accident.
"Mow 'er? Not-Heaven, NO! I don't even KNOW 'er!"
Or what if the garbage truck had pulled out and run into the spinning blades of the side-mower?
"Bump 'er? Not-Heaven, NO! I came here to DUMP 'er!"
Yeah. Maybe I need a little more practice writing my punchlines.
Don't quit your day job!!
ReplyDeleteThe blonde and brunette joke is far funnier. Chocolate and peanut butter go well together if the peanut butter is on a slice of bread and the chocolate is Nutella spread on the other slice and then the two are slapped together. But I've tried Reese's peanut butter cups and (sorry) actually spat that out!
ReplyDeletefishducky,
ReplyDeleteThat's good advice. I'm sure I'll make more money doing absolutely nothing than writing jokes!
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River,
Well...that's probably because it's an ACTUAL JOKE, that I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH!
I like my peanut butter on a crisp Granny Smith apple, but I've been known to consume a Reese's or two.