Mrs. HM Gets Spooked

October is barely upon us, and Mrs. Hillbilly Mom is already jumpy. It's not the paranormal that scares her these days. It's the real-life ghouls who set her nerves on edge.

I cruised down Mailbox Hill Monday afternoon, and came upon a White RaperVan at the entrance to our gravel road.

The Pony is the one to thank for that term. He's always referred to white vans that way. I think it was an inside joke amongst his classmates. At first I didn't get my hackles up. Our down-the-hill neighbor drives a white van for his job, which is servicing heating and cooling units for a restaurant chain, if Farmer H is to be believed.

I parked T-Hoe on the edge of the blacktop county road, and walked over to EmBee for our mail. During that task, I started thinking. Why would our neighbor be parked down at the end of the gravel road? He doesn't have kids to pick up when the school bus arrives. And that would be 2-3 hours later in the afternoon. This is not on his work route. He'd just go on up the road and home. It didn't look like the person in the White RavperVan was him. This driver had a thinner (and younger-looking arm). That's all I could see. One arm.

This time, I took a picture. For later reference. Or perhaps evidence! In front of that White RaperVan is a little red car. It might look a bit like Neighbor Tommy's car, but this is a smaller model. It is parked there every day. A fifteen-year-old kid drives it down there to wait for the bus, and drives it back home after school.

Anyhoo...as I turned in and drove past the White RaperVan, it looked like a guy behind the driver's seat, with a phone to his ear. That's funny. Peculiar, not ha-ha. I have no bars down here. I can barely get radio reception. So it seems odd that a person would choose this place to talk on a cell phone.

I went up the road, in the manner of a person who actually lives out here. You know. Not speeding, but not creeping along like a sightseer.

THAT WHITE RAPERVAN PULLED OUT TO FOLLOW ME!

Uh huh. After sitting there for who knows how long, that driver had a sudden need to drive along behind me. At a pretty good clip, too. He was gaining on me. Not that I was trying to outrun him. There's a just-right speed on this gravel, where you don't slide around, and don't hit the potholes too hard. I was at that speed. White RaperVan was exceeding it.

Heh, heh! I hope that dude was hungry, because I fed him enough dust to make a competitive eater throw in the towel. Yes, a huge cloud of dust rose up, making a wall that my rearview vision could not penetrate! I no longer saw White RaperVan. I guess he backed off.

When I turned up the hill to pass by my heating/cooling neighbor's homestead, that White RaperVan kept going on up the other hill, past HOS's house, on the road that comes out on another blacktop county road after two miles.

Here's the creepy part. When I loaded these pictures, and zoomed in to see if there might be a business logo on the side of the White RaperVan...I noticed something odd about the back bumper.

It looks like a cascade of blood might have seeped out!

Probably just my overactive Halloween imagination kicking in.