I caught Farmer H over at back-creek neighbor Bev's house last Tuesday, mid-morning. Specifically, I called to see where he was, and he said he'd gone to talk to Bev, because she had something to give him. Uh huh. That's what they all say, isn't it?
Anyhoo...Farmer H was walking back to his Trailblazer when he answered. I could hear him huffing and puffing like the Big Bad Wolf. Then the chime and radio as he started the Trailblazer. But THEN he exclaimed, "Ooh! Look at THAT!" As if I could.
"There's a HUGE hornet's nest! I've gotta get that!"
"Uh. Are you crazy?"
"No. It's fine in the winter. They're not in it. They all die. I heard that somewhere."
"Then why haven't they gone extinct, if they all die off every winter?"
"Well. I don't know. But that's what I heard."
"Haven't you ever seen THE SHINING? When Jack gives his son a giant wasp nest? And they just happen to put a glass bowl over it, and the next morning in the kid's bedroom, that bowl is SWARMING with wasps!"
"This is a hornet's nest, HM. Not a wasp nest."
"Hornets are wasps, too!"
"Well, I'll bring the tractor over, and have HOS do it! Lift him up in the bucket, to get the nest for me. I gotta go! I need to walk back in and tell Bev that I'm taking her hornet's nest."
This might get interesting. I was thinking of yellow-jackets, which swarm Farmer H every summer when he mows over their nest in the BARn field. They live in the ground, though, and not a nest as big as a basketball, hanging in a tree. I looked up hornets in Missouri. Yes, they're aggressive. But I DID see something about the workers dying off after their job is done, and only the queen and a few drones surviving the winter by living in tree bark or people's homes (!). So maybe Farmer H is right this time.
Shh...he can never know I said that.
He may very well be right, but watch out in the spring when the queen's new batch of eggs starts hatching.
ReplyDeleteI won't say a word. I'm the finest witness money can buy!!
ReplyDeleteRiver,
ReplyDeleteHe hasn't harvested that nest yet, and by spring, he'll forget he has it. I need to make sure he puts it in the BARn or one of his themed sheds. NOT in the Mansion!
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fishducky,
I knew I could depend on you as a co-conspirator!