My torment continues. Saturday morning, I scurried around to get out of the Mansion by 10:00, to get to the store before the day wasted away. Let the record show that I normally don't arise until 9:30, then putter around, head for town between noon and 1:00, and start down to my lair near the 2 o'clock hour. But Saturday, I had some things to carry down before my arms were laden with lunch and a 44 oz Diet Coke and two bubba cups full of ice. I figured I could bring up my bag of trash on the way back.
Imagine my shock and consternation, as I side-stepped down those last five stairs, clinging to the items with one hand, and the basement ceiling for support with the other,
to see
A MILLIPEDE!
Sweet Gummi Mary! The hair on the back of my neck rose like the helium balloon of a toddler at the zoo within 30 seconds of purchase.
I knew the millipede was there, and I knew I had to pick it up, and I had to watch it for those last five stairs, lest it get away and surprise me again another day. Or night. I made those noises again. Not quite words. Worried noises combining fear and disgust. I set down my Puffs Plus Lotion box, and the roll of Charmin Extra Strong, and hurried to my OPC (Old People Chair) to snatch a Puffs out of the already-open box on the TV tray that acts as a table. Thank the Gummi Mary, there were still two tissues left in the box.
I gritted my teeth and pounced on that millipede, holding it in the tissue at arm's length as I old-lady-ran to the NASCAR bathroom to flush it.
When I had stepped off the bottom stair, I swear that millipede looked over its shoulder at me. We both had the same unspoken question in our mind: "What are YOU doing here?" Just like Jerry asked Elaine in the hospital as he pretended to smother George with a pillow after his fake heart attack.
The millipede was heading from the area of Farmer H's workshop toward the area of my lair. Farmer H had been in there on Friday with the air conditioner repair guy. They must have let that millipede get in through the big metal basement door. There are old leaves that blow up against the door and back outside wall of the basement. That's where millipedes like to live, right? In old leaves. Not in a basement. No. Surely not.
Now I don't know if I should pop down to the basement at irregular times, to catch a millipede in the act... or only go down on my usual schedule.
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Even though I was pretty sure a millipede is an arthropod, I googled that question. As an ex science teacher, I don't want to provide false information, and I especially don't want to violate the Truth in Blogging Law!
PLEASE don't google "Is a millipede an arthropod?" The picture that pops up almost made me scream.
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You know darn well that I'm now going to google is a millipede and arthropod!
ReplyDeleteYours was probably living peacefully inside the airconditioning duct or casing or whatever part was disturbed, and got tipped out unnoticed and the poor wee thing was just trying to find its way home when you found him/her.
When you advised to NOT google "Is a millipede an arthropod?" I of course had to do it.
ReplyDeleteYou probably have a whole millipede family reunion goin' on in your basement. Enjoy the cavorting they're doing.
River,
ReplyDeleteHeh, heh! Google at your own risk. I will NOT be held responsible for the 10-hour wait to see a doctor for your concussion when you keel over from fright.
Bon voyage to that freakishly over-legged critter! He is sailing back home, or to Davy Jones's locker by way of the underground aquifer or creek to river to Mississippi to Gulf of Mexico!
Sioux,
ReplyDeleteThat cavorting could explain some of the noises. A couple days ago I heard a box fall over. Like a cardboard box, full of something like magazines or sheets. Heard it twice, never found anything that fell. I hope those millipedes aren't moving in boxes full of relatives!
I hope you enjoyed looking at that millipede picture. Maybe you even googled IMAGES!