Mrs. HM Crosses That "BRIDE" When She Comes To It

Wednesday, on my way out the door to do the weekly shopping, I got a text from Farmer H.

"The bridge is closed HM you can't get over it they're working on it"

Problem is, there are three bridges I encounter on my way to town, two of which I cross.

"On the lettered county highway? I guess I'll take the other blacktop road to a different-lettered highway?"

I can find my way around the major roads, only from being on them with Farmer H. I cannot (s)weave in and out through farmland like he does, or I would be hopelessly lost. Of course I heard nothing back from him. I wasn't going to wait all day. I didn't want to call him, because he and HOS (Farmer H's Oldest Son) were taking the blue tractor to town on a trailer. As you might imagine, Farmer H's sweaving is still a habit, even when pulling a trailer loaded with a tractor. No way did I want to have him answer his phone, and drive one-handed!!!

I stopped to pick up the mail at the end of our gravel road. I then had to make a decision. How does Farmer H's mind work? If he had been referring to the low water bridge on the blacktop county road, I could still get to town with a short detour of about 2 extra miles. If he meant the long high bridge that spans Big River (that's the actual name of the river) on the county lettered highway, my detour would take me 8-10 miles out of my way.

Well, whichever bridge Farmer H meant, I still had to turn left at the mailboxes, rather than right. Off I went, still contemplating whether I should take the long detour and be sure, or the shorter one. IF it was the long high bridge, they'd surely be redirecting traffic back onto our blacktop county road, and I'd only have to loop back around and then take the long detour. BUT if the bridge Farmer H meant was the low water bridge on the blacktop county road, I'd be home free with the short detour. I was willing to take that risk, with a chance of only going 2 miles extra, rather than 10.

Heh, heh! When I came to a stop sign putting me on the road that would branch off, giving me access to either the long or the short detour, I saw a BRIGHT ORANGE SIGN, pointed back the way I had just come, saying ROAD CLOSED.

YES! I had successfully read Farmer H's mind! He had indeed been talking about the low water bridge, and I could now safely take my short detour and get to town the mostly normal way.

You can bet that I sent Farmer H another text.

"Thanks for not answering. Good thing I know how your weird mind works, and took [alternate county blacktop] to [lettered highway]."

"The bride on [blacktop county] and I didn't hear you"

SHEESH! All he had to do originally was say: low water bridge out. I would have known EXACTLY which route to take, no questions asked (and unanswered). I didn't even taunt him about calling a bridge a bride. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have gotten the joke.