There has been a catastrophe in Hillmomba. It pretty much only affects Mrs. Hillbilly Mom to a great degree. Other Hillmombans go about their business as if nothing is amiss. Let the record show that something is indeed amiss, at the highest magnitude of amissness!
THE GAS STATION CHICKEN STORE IS OUT OF DIET COKE!
If I was a dainty lady of the Victorian era, I would have taken to my fainting couch for four days. However, I am not dainty, not much of a lady, and my Victorianness is a somewhat-kept secret.
Yes, I traipsed into The Gas Station Chicken Store on Saturday, giddy with the though of my magical elixir, only to see a white scrap of paper taped to the Diet Coke spigot, hand-lettered with "OUT." Can you believe that? On a THREE-DAY weekend?
The smiley clerk told me it would be back on Tuesday, but the Man Owner stepped out of the chicken room (no chicken on the weekends now!) and said it would be Wednesday before I could enjoy my precious beverage again. I guess their delivery will be a day late, due to the holiday.
Monday, I popped in to cash some scratchers. Man Owner said, "Don't you wish somebody was smart enough to order the Diet Coke?"
Yes. Yes, I do. It's his job, you know. And it's not the first time this has happened. The world conspires against me.
I've been buying my 44 oz Diet Cokes at Orb K. They're almost as good. Cheaper, too. Only 94 cents instead of $1.69. But like the replacement Becky on Roseanne, it's not as good as the one I've enjoyed for years.
I would have answered, "yes I do and why didn't you order extra with the long weekend coming up?" With a smile of course.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on the replacement Becky too. The show just wasn't as good with her in it. Same with a show I used to watch, where the youngest daughter went off to boarding school and when she came home for Christmas it was a different girl.
At least Orb K still has your diet coke.
I THOUGHT I felt Earth stop rotating for a moment, spin a bit in the opposite direction, shudder, and then resume its normal movement.
ReplyDeleteNow I know what the cause was...
River,
ReplyDeleteHe is a nice guy, and we rib him all the time about his incompetence, saying he's going to get fired by his wife. I hate re-casting. They did it to Mark Green's daughter Rachel on ER, too. And to nurse Sam's weird little kid Alex.
Orb K's Diet Coke was surprisingly delicious. Their service, however, will keep me from switching my alliance.
***
Sioux,
Good thing I found a reasonable substitute. If I'd had to drink that Dairy Queen Pine-Sol-tasting Diet Coke, you'd be holding on for dear life, Madam, to keep from being flung into space.