Sweet Gummi Mary! I don't even know where to start. But one thing's for sure... I don't have to figure out where to end, because there IS NO END! No end to the financial shenanigans of Farmer H.
I don't begrudge Farmer H his toys. Like two tractors and two garages and a BARn and (I lost count of how many) themed sheds. After all, he used to work for a living, too. What I DO begrudge is buying without discussing. He's gotten better at that.
Only yesterday, Farmer H sent me a picture of a new gas grill. It was $209 at Lowe's. We've been needing to replace Gassy G, so I was on board with that. Plus, he sat on the short couch and discussed it with me when he got home. I think it was just a lead-in to his intended purchase of a power-washer and sealant. For the porch and Poolio deck. Which will be an additional expenditure of around $300. I'm used to that.
Every month, Farmer H seems to accrue about $500 of unplanned expenses. Whether it's car repairs (rarely T-Hoe's) or tires or lumber or a trip... you never know. Of course I complained about doing this wash-and-seal NOW, this very month, when he's let it go for years. It's like he has financial bi-polarism! All or nothing. Well. Rarely nothing.
Farmer H did himself no favors a few hours later, when he said he was going to help our neighbor (Copper Jack's human daddy) spread two loads of gravel. "Oh, and Buddy is bringing me a load, too." Mrs. HM wasn't born yesterday. She knows that a load of gravel is at least $150.
"Gravel? What do we need gravel for?"
"The yard, HM. To landscape around the pool. I've been meaning to do it, and I never have."
Let the record show that I still have full control of my teacher stink-eye. And I'm not afraid to use it.
"Well. I guess I can pay for the gravel out of MY money..."
"Yes. I guess you can. Since apparently you've already ordered it, and I never heard a word about it."
"Oh, come on. I always tell you about stuff before I buy it."
"You mean like that $1,700 riding lawnmower that you just appeared on two days after you left here in a huff?"
"Well, there is THAT. I tell my buddies all the time that you won't let me forget it."
"I SHOULDN'T let you forget it! That was $1,700 that you spent, with consulting me. You already had a riding mower, too! You only did it because you were mad, and thought you'd show me!"
"No. No. I figured Genius was going to need a mower, and I'd give him my old one. So we really did need a new mower. You don't have to look at me like that."
"I'm not paying for any gravel."
"Oh, and the grill and sealant? I got a Lowe's credit card so I could save 5%."
"So now you have a Lowe's CREDIT CARD? That's the last thing you need! You spend enough there, and now you'll have a credit card so you can spend like it's not real money! Good thing you told me, because I'd have thrown the bill away, knowing that we don't have anything coming from Lowe's except junk mail."
"But I can save 5% on every purchase!"
"There better not be any purchase unless we talk about it. Can you cancel the credit card?"
"Well, she said I COULD, after it gets here in 8-10 days."
I'll give him a couple months before I take the kitchen shears to that card. We'll see how responsible Farmer H can be. It's not like he's putting us in the poorhouse. I just feel like we should consider what we really NEED, and what he really WANTS. So we can plan ahead for which months we're going to pay for which projects.
Here's the song that the title refers to: Lord Have Mercy On the Workin' Man by Travis Tritt
Of course, Farmer H should only have to pay $125 of that gravel bill... and you know why.
ReplyDeleteI understand it all. I am married to his brother from another mother (and father).
ReplyDeleteSioux,
ReplyDeleteBite your tongue, Madam, before I send my sister the ex-mayor's wife over there to hold it between her thumb and forefinger while you fling your head to and fro, trying to escape her clutches! (She used to do this with our black miniature poodle, Buster. Just for fun. Not because she was avenging any wrongs he had done me.)
Farmer H shall NOT get any share of my hard-won scratcher money! None of that $50, and none of the $40 winner I had today!
***
Kathy,
Of all people, YOU have walked a mile in my Crocs! In fact, you've probably walked 20 miles to my 1 in my Crocs. Not because HeWho is any more a spender than Farmer H, but because you are definitely not a lair-sitter like me.
I know very few men who can be trusted with a credit card. I got a department store card many years ago, so I could keep the kids in school uniforms as they grew and K was mighty upset when I declined a second card for his use. A few short years later he had five (FIVE) credit cards from different sources and had them all chasing around each other to pay off the monthly bills. I never did see anything he bought so I don't know where the money went and he was always broke. His income was twice as much as mine...
ReplyDeleteKeep an eye on Farmer H with his card, he might manage quite well, but keep those kitchen scissors handy.
River,
ReplyDeleteWe had several credit cards when we first got married, and decided to get rid of all but one, which we pay off every month. I'm not crazy about the idea of having this Lowe's card. I think guys see their special purchases as ESSENTIAL, when they are not.
Farmer H keeps harping on how getting the porch and deck washed and sealed MUST BE DONE BEFORE WINTER. I asked why, since they survived the previous TWENTY-ONE WINTERS without any treatment. He didn't really have an answer. I also don't see why Poolio needs landscaping now, at the end of the summer. Haven't asked that one yet. I guess Poolio needs to look good next to the washed and sealed deck.
Uh-Oh, he's not secretly planning on selling or renting out the mansion? Perhaps he's had word from "Home Beautiful" magazine and the want to come and take photos?
ReplyDeleteRiver,
ReplyDeleteI hadn't thought of that. Not sure which would be more stressful, being ousted from the Mansion, or having a magazine come take pictures!