Midweek, I had a terrible itch on the back of my right knee. In the bendy part. Try as I might, I couldn't see anything that would be making me so itchy. The skin looked normal, but I was hiking up my sweatpants to scratch several times during the day. It was during one of these blissful scratching sessions that I thought I felt something. Maybe a little skin tag. I looked. Nothing. I was absentmindedly flicking that skin tag back and forth. I decided to rip it off. It would only bleed for a few minutes. I'd jam a Puffs Plus Lotion in my knee bend, and that would staunch my aspirin-aided flow.
Imagine my shock when I finally grasped that skin tag and yanked it loose, dropped it on my used lunch paper plate, and saw LEGS! Yes. Instead of being an almost colorless little polyp of skin, it was a brown tick! Very small. Less that the size of a pinhead. I had to use my magnifying glass to see the legs.
I didn't think much more about it. It was removed. I'd just have to deal with the itching for a few days. It had pretty much slipped my mind by the time I was laid back in my OPC (Old People Chair) watching TV later that night. Dang it! My left hip was itching. On the side. Like up against the side of the OPC arm. Right over my hip socket. You don't think...
Yep. It was another tick! I snapped it loose and flushed it. The next day, I was telling Farmer H about my horrifying experience.
"Two of them! I guess that when I went to sit on the front porch with Jack and Juno, while you were putting stain on the back porch boards, they rubbed some ticks on me. They crowd around. Jack stands on his hind legs between my feet, trying to lick my face. I think he remembers the good times, when he was a tiny little hot-dog pup, and I'd sit on the pew, and he'd crawl up around the back of my neck, under my hair. Juno just leans against me. So I bet ticks crawled onto my sweatpants."
"Yeah. Probably."
The next night, again in my OPC, I kept contorting to scratch under my left shoulder blade. The wooden backscratcher I keep on the lamp table wasn't doing the job right. Oh, NOT-HEAVEN, NO! Was that a flappy part to my itchy place? How was I supposed to reach up there? I couldn't turn my arm right to get my finger and thumb into a pinchy angle to pull on that flap. Crap! I just scratched at it with my fingernail until it came loose. ANOTHER TICK!
A couple hours later, I noticed that I was scratching my belly. Under the belly-button, to the left. Surely not! Hold on! Better take a look! NOOOOO! I could even see this one! I pinched him off forthwith. Lots of flushing going on!
The next evening, Farmer H said, "I think I might have you look me for ticks. I pulled off FIVE OF THEM in the shower!"
"Aha! It's YOU! I didn't get ticks from Jack and Juno on the porch! YOU brought them into the house! I bet the La-Z-Boy is crawling with them! I sit there for an hour in the mornings, with my laptop. I'm sure they were just waiting to get on me!"
"Maybe. I guess I got them when I took Marley out of the pen a couple evenings ago."
"Yeah. They were probably all over your pants legs, and you brought them inside."
"Come look. I think I have more, but I can't see them."
PLEASE SHARE IN MY HORROR!
Farmer H disrobed. Okay. All he had to do was take off his tighty-whities. And in the area that had been covered by them, I removed 3 TICKS! With tweezers, using a magnifying glass! Plus another 3 from an inner thigh area. And 2 from his underbelly. Dang it! It's not a fair fight if you can't even see them. It's not like I want to pull a giant dog tick off my flesh. But at least being able to see your parasite gives you a chance to annihilate it.
Sweet Gummi Mary! Later that night, down in my OPC, I continued scratching the inner edge of my left calf
So that's SIX ticks picked. Off my own flesh. I'm sure this is Farmer H's evil plot to kill me with Lyme Disease. He's probably had a secret vaccination as part of his spy travels...
Ticks make me shudder. Those blood-suckers are horrible.
ReplyDeleteBut what was worse? Contemplating a husband of a certain age--taking off his tighty-whities--or thinking about ticks crawling all over me.
It's a close contest--too close to call.
Sioux,
ReplyDeleteThank the Gummi Mary, I didn't have to pull a tick off Farmer H's FOOT! He said he did that himself, this morning. Oh, and also that he pulled one off his butt in bed. I did NOT ask what he did with it...
So sorry he didn't do anything interesting tonight, other than parade around the Mansion in his tighty-whities, sitting on the long couch, folding his laundry on the coffee table. If you ever pop in for a visit, that is where you will sit. On a cushion that was only shielded from Farmer H's nether regions by a thin layer of 100% cotton...
You're going to have to delouse your house, including both chairs. I bet the ones you pinched off are relatives of those still in the chairs. Your OPC probably has them transferred by you unknowingly from the LaZboy.
ReplyDeleteRiver,
ReplyDeleteI think OPC is innocent, and that the ticks were on me from my morning in the La-Z-Boy. I only noticed them while in my OPC because TV was boring, and I wasn't enthralled by my innernets. Besides, OPC is smooth leather, no pattern or woven material for those ticks to camouflage themselves.
I've now had two completely tickless days, so I think the infestation has already attached itself to us, and been thwarted. NOW Farmer H thinks he got them while crawling around in a pile of dead leaves while fiddling with POOLIO to close him for the winter. I still think they came from the weeds on the way to Marley's pen.
I hate ticks. I usually get them on my neck in early spring when I mow under trees. We use a granule type pesticide on the ground in our fenced in area and around the outside. Also in the dog park and around it. It is supposed to kill fleas, ticks and ants. Seems to work, but I still dose the dogs with stuff to make sure they don't bring them in.
ReplyDeleteKathy,
ReplyDeleteI never heard of stuff like that! Farmer H has been lax in treating the dogs this year, which doesn't help. They COULD be my source, but with Farmer H having more ticks than me, I doubt it. I think he's Prey Zero for this parasite infestation.