Another Incident Of SFDD

Same Farmer, Different Day

Farmer H took a mini vacation to visit his younger brother, who lives near Las Vegas. He drove A-Cad, took along a Storage Unit buddy who asked to go, and had a grand old time. He left on a Friday, planning to return 10 days later, on a Sunday. Of course he came back early!

Farmer H is always doing stuff like that. Changing the schedule. He took the southern route out there, and the northern route back. Last I heard, he planned to take the train up Pike's Peak. I was happily computing in my dark basement lair on Saturday evening, complacent with one more Farmer-free day on my horizon, when I got a text at 6:11 p.m. [actual Farmer H spelling and punctuation]

"Im in kansas city be home around 11"

What in the NOT-HEAVEN?

I'd been robbed of my 10th day of freedom! I cry shenanigans! How dare he! Seems he decided to keep driving through Colorado. In fact, he later mentioned that when it gets dark in the Rocky Mountains, it gets REALLY dark! Plus, there was rain, and the lines on the road didn't show up. So Farmer H decided it was probably a good thing everything around him was dark, because he gets nervous looking down the side of a mountain.

Anyhoo... Even Steven smote Farmer H with a quickness. At 8:02, I got another text:

"Been caught in traffic three different erecks in Warrensburg eating supper still be home tonight"

That was later deciphered as having encountered the traffic accidents in Kansas City, and was in Warrensburg having supper. Bottom line, Farmer H got home at 1:15 a.m.

Farmer H is not a night owl. He went to bed without even announcing his arrival, though I certainly heard him stumping around on footless ankles above my head. No. I did not run upstairs to greet him. Didn't see him until the next afternoon. If I had better night vision, I would have seen him laying in bed tethered to his breather when I retired at 4:00 a.m.

Farmer H slept in! I'm pretty sure it was 10:00 a.m. when he was jolly-good-fellowing me up and down on the mattress as he yanked on his bootlaces getting dressed. He's usually up at 6:30, out of the house by 7:00.

Of course I couldn't get back to sleep. So I got up shortly after he left. I'm normally awake at 9:30, but I'd stayed up a little later, enjoying my last moments of freedom. Freedom from what?

FREEDOM FROM FARMER H's JUDGMENT!

Sunday afternoon, as Farmer H was trying to sleep in the La-Z-Boy, I sat down on the short couch to be difficult.

"I want to talk to you! You've been gone so long! Are you SLEEPING? I can't believe you! And you didn't get up until 10:00!"

"HM. I didn't get to bed until 1:30!"

"So?"

"I needed my rest. I was wore out. I left Denver on Sunday morning, and drove all day and night."

"You have a fit if I sleep past 9:30. Even though I go to bed at 3:00 or 4:00. Am I not allowed to get a full night's sleep? You had 8 and a half hours of sleep! I'm only allowed 6 hours! How is THAT fair?"

"Well, you need to get to bed earlier."

"I don't tell YOU to go to bed LATER!"

"HM. That's your choice. To stay up so late."

"Well, it was YOUR choice to keep on driving and come home a day early!"

There's no reasoning with Farmer H.