He Can't Hang Onto His Butt With Both Hands And Those Gripper Gloves Worn By NFL Wide Receivers

Farmer H has a problem. He's a loser.

He can't find anything! We were preparing to leave for the casino Wednesday morning, and he couldn't find his player's card. It's not a big deal. They'll give you another one, it only takes a few minutes. Thing is, the LAST TIME we were there, Farmer H had to get another card, because he couldn't find his. WHAT is he doing with these player's cards???

Here's the thing. This player's card is only good for this one casino. When we leave, Farmer H gets in A-Cad, takes the lanyard off his neck, and puts his player's card in a little trapdoor thingy up on the dashboard. In fact, he has a collection of player's cards in there, from 8 casinos in Oklahoma, and a one from the city.

As we started up the driveway, Farmer H was musing about where that player's card could be. I pulled mine out of my gambling purse. "Are you sure you looked for the right one? I'm pretty sure when you got the last replacement, you'd moved up a level. So, it used to be the bright yellow card. Yours should be blue now. You're at the second level. See? Mine is gold, third level. But yours would have this smiley face on it, and be blue."

"Oh. Well. It might be in there..."

I pulled out a tangle of lanyards and cards, and there it was! Farmer H's blue player's card. He's welcome...

Another thing he lost in the past week was a pet carrier. We've had many different pet carriers. Wire ones for big dogs like Juno. Mid-size for Jack. That's the one he needed, to take Marley for grooming. And a small one that we used for bringing home kittens, and for Puppy Jack's first shots.

I think Farmer H let The Veteran take some chickens home in the wire carrier. And I'm pretty sure when he gave away two small goats, he lent the never-returned big dog carrier. I have no idea about the other two. I DID find the missing leash hanging on a nail between the garage doors, after I'd bought another one for Marley.

I found out about the missing pet carrier when I asked how he got Marley to town. Juno will lay down on the truck floor and stay, if her leash is tied so she doesn't creep over to lay on Farmer H's feet. Jack hasn't been to town without a carrier or a Pony.

"I put Marley in a box."

"Oh. So you set him down in a box, to ride there?" I was wondering what kept hyper Marley from jumping out.

"Yeah. I folded the flaps in."

Seriously. Farmer H put Marley in a box, and folded the four flaps down in that woven pattern like you might use to close up out-of-season clothing to carry it to the attic.