Saturday, November 9, 2019

Farmer H Lets An Opportunity Pass Him By

Technically, Farmer H is the one who passed by the opportunity.

There it was, beside the creek on our gravel road. Waiting for Farmer H to come along. I guess Opportunity was too lazy to drag itself another 7/8 mile to the Mansion, to knock properly. Farmer H stopped for a photo. Which he sent me by email at 7:44 a.m. It's things like that which make me leave my cell phone on the kitchen counter to charge, out of earshot.

I saw it on my way to town at 10:00. I was shocked! Not that somebody threw out trash on our gravel road. But that Farmer H had left a cooler! Surely he would have picked it up to wash and resell. Don't cost nothin'! I, myself, had no desire to touch it or investigate. I feared that the trash bag spilling out might contain a body. Or body parts.

Later, I interrogated Farmer H on his decision to let a spilled cooler lie.

"I thought you might pick it up, to sell at your Storage Unit Store."

"Nah! The wheels was gone off of it!"

"Oh. I didn't know it was a fancy cooler with wheels."

"Besides, there was deer in it. A lot of meat, actually! All spilled out. Some of it not even wrapped."

"Maybe it fell off the back of a hunter's truck, and he didn't mean to dump it."

"Yeah, it fell off all right--after somebody kicked it out."

I suppose the silver lining in this scenario is that the stench might keep people from parking down there for a week or so. And I really, really hope that's DEER.

6 comments:

  1. I wouldn't be going anywhere near it either, but I'd call the police to send someone out and check that it is deer and not human remains.

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  2. River,
    I am assuming that Farmer H actually got a close look, and perhaps saw an antler or other identifying deer anatomy. If it was an adult human, parts are missing. Then again, a headless body was found in a septic tank on this very road...

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  3. That cooler looks like it would have been irresistable to Farmer H--wheel-free or not, full of rotten deer meat or not. What do you think accounts for his impulse control?

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  4. Sioux,
    Yeah, he could have made a dollar off it, at least. Farmer H is all about the small profit, you know.

    I think he must have had a little change in his pocket, goin' jing-a-ling-a-ling, and kept his hands to himself. (To borrow some Georgia Satellites lyrics from the 80s.) Being so flush with cash, Farmer H felt like he could turn down a sure dollar profit.

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  5. Some treasures just aren't worth investigating.

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  6. Kathy,
    I agree with this one. So do other residents of our enclave, and random loiterers down by the creek. Nobody has touched that cooler.

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