As I was digging my 13 handfuls of ice out of FRIG II's freezer bin on Sunday night, I made sure Farmer H could hear me running my [SMART as he calls it] mouth. Oh, and let the record show that I have a routine
"Ow! OW! Every time I grab a handful of ice, it melts a little as I lift it to my cup. Then my fingers are wet. That means the next cubes I grab stick to my fingertips. I have to pry them off against the rim of the cup. It BURNS! I think I'm pulling the skin off. I think I have frostbite. The ice is melting because all the heat flows out of my fingertips into the ice. [former physics teacher here] They're ICE cold! And turning red. I sure hope the doctor doesn't ask me what's wrong with my fingers! Because I'd have to tell him that my husband hasn't fixed the ice maker in MONTHS, and that I've been bare-handing 13 handfuls of ice every night..."
I heard no response from the La-Z-Boy holding the lazy boy. I went to sit down on the short couch while supper was heating up.
"My hands are SO cold! They burn! LOOK at this hand, compared to the other one. SEE? How red it is? I really think I have frostbite. Can you tell?"
"Huh."
Not even lukewarm interest in my digits that would soon be sloughing off identifying fingerprints.
WAIT A MINUTE!
Farmer H might have some kind of ulterior motive here. I might have underestimated his cunning.
Yep.
ReplyDeleteDeath by icemaker.
Get a scoop. Save your fingers. And your fingerprints.
ReplyDeleteSioux,
ReplyDeleteFarmer H, in the Mansion kitchen, with FRIG II's icemaker.
***
River,
Surprisingly enough, my procurer has not yet found me an auction scoop, but has instead brought me AUCTION COOKIES of unknown refrigeration...
I didn't mean wait for someone to find you an auction scoop. My idea is for you to go out and buy one. I'm sure Walmart has them and probably many other stores and they won't have been pre-owned by countless others who may have used them for goodness-knows-what.
ReplyDeleteRiver,
ReplyDeleteSWEET GUMMI MARY! I never thought about that! What if somebody used it as a POOPER SCOOPER??? For doggy doo-doo in the yard, or for digging cat poops out of the litter box!
A scoop would work when I take out the bin. But not for reaching in through the little door.
I once knew a co-worker who let her children use salad tongs to pick up poop in the yard. I think about it everytime I see salad tongs in the thrift store. She wasn't too bright, this co-worker; she stood on her new glasstop stove to clean the cabinet tops and the glass broke and sliced up her feet. I had the repair man remove my ice maker so I would gain more room in the freezer. My water is too hard to run it through an appliance.
ReplyDeleteKathy,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for giving me a forever-image in my brain when I see salad tongs. Perhaps that gal was also not too self-aware, and thought she was a hundred pounds lighter, and able to stand on a glasstop stove. My icemaker MAKES the ice, it just can't DOLE OUT the ice.