Thursday, December 19, 2019

When A Body Meets A Body Stumping Through The Kitchen

Just when you think Farmer H has outdone himself with illogic, he resets the bar.

Tuesday afternoon, on a road of solid ice, he drove me to The Devil's Playground for Christmas dinner supplies. I appreciate that. I really do! He even took his own little  Devil's cart, and went to the other side of the store for pharmacy items and wrapping tape. Plus three little cars he bought for himself...

AND, Farmer H unloaded both carts in the parking lot while I climbed into T-Hoe to answer The Pony's texts. THEN carried everything in back at the Mansion, telling me,

"You go on inside. You can put things away as I carry them in."

Well. I guess I wasn't fast enough. I'd told him he could set some bags in the drainer sink, without walking all the way around the peninsula counter. But Farmer H, on his third trip, set two bags in the REGULAR sink, right after he'd seen me running water there on Trip 2. Still. I wasn't upset with him. I was grateful for the help.

Even though he'd carried over items that should have stayed on the kitchen table, for making Chex Mix. So I had to walk around that peninsula to put them there. Thing is, after traipsing through The Devil's Playground for over an hour, my knees swell up and get grindy. As I turned back to go around the peninsula to the cutting block/FRIG II area, here came Farmer H, barreling along with bags in each hand.

I felt a shift in my right knee joint. Like crunchy particles trying to wedge themselves under the kneecap. I grasped the edge of the peninsula to steady myself.

"Just a minute. Sorry. I twisted my knee."

Farmer H did not slow. He kept barreling.

"You could give me a second! I can't rush!"

"I'm walking! What do you expect me to do, STOP?"

"Um. Yeah. THAT'S WHAT A NORMAL PERSON WOULD DO!"

"I can't stop, just because you can't get out of the way!"

"Okay then. I want you to run right over me and knock me down! OF COURSE I expect you to stop walking. How hard is that? To give me a second to limp out of the way?"

Sweet Gummi Mary! Talk about entitled!

Seriously! You've heard of manspreading? I think Farmer H has a terminal case of manspeeding! He slows for no one. I've even seen him clip a guy's shoulder while walking in public. Rationalizing his behavior after my chastisement by declaring, "I wasn't getting out of that guy's way!"

Wars have probably been started over less...

4 comments:

  1. Okay, maybe he CAN'T stop, but surely he can turn aside and walk around you or even turn right around and come back after you've had time to move? Gold star for being so helpful though.

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  2. River,
    Oh, PSHAW! He can definitely stop. It's not like he's T-Hoe without brakes. No room to walk around in that area. Only room for one person to pass between the wall and the end of the peninsula. IF you're a person the size of Farmer H or me. I was limping out of the way as he charged through. A couple of seconds would have done it.

    Farmer H IS good about coming to help with basic manual labor like that. To carry, or to go out if I forgot my phone in T-Hoe. It's just the repair projects he puts off.

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  3. Unfortunately, I know just what you mean (about the knee). Arthur Ritis has come to live in my right knee, and just a slight shift or turn--in the wrong way--is quite painful.

    Manspeeding. I think you've coined a new phrase.

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  4. Sioux,
    My sympathy for the knee. I hope you don't get run over by a manspeeder!

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