You Know Those People Who Think Their Poop Don't Stink?

It's sad that I've become so desensitized to sitting in Farmer H's dried poop. Yep. I'm going there. Not even gonna sugar-coat it! I'm not making a silk purse out this sow's ear. Not putting lipstick on the pig, either. It is what it is.

So defeated I've become, from trying to shame that animal Farmer H into cleaning up his barnyard, that I almost accept the fact that I'll probably be sitting on Farmer H's dried poop until either he stops pooping, or I stop sitting. Oh, I still inform him of his transgression. But the outrage has subsided. The hope for change, too. 

Saturday afternoon, I pointed out that I had poop-sat several times before noticing that fact. Sweet Gummi Mary! I'd been sitting in it, if not through the night, then at least twice since Farmer H had showered and gone to his Storage Unit Store. That's when it became noticeable to me, in the light of day, and under the vent fan/light over the toilet/shower side of the bathroom, as I was turning on my shower water.

To be fair, it wasn't chunks or anything. More of a dried smear. Maybe a butt print. Perhaps as if he'd taken a swipe at wiping it off. But it was noticeable. I wasn't even mad. Just slightly annoyed.

Of course Farmer H declared haughtily that he had NOT pooped on the back of the toilet. He even went to check. Although I think he just had to pee, mainly. When he came out of the bathroom after an inspection that was really a pee run, he said,

"I don't see no poop on the back of the toilet!"

Maybe I was hysterical, but that set me off into a fit of laughter that made it hard to catch my breath.

"HOW can you read a penny's date, even a DIME, without glasses? When I can't focus on it with my bifocals and a magnifying glass? So how in the NOT-HEAVEN can you miss your own poop on the back of a toilet seat? You're like those people who say their poop doesn't stink! Only YOURS is INVISIBLE! You think your poop doesn't SHOW!"

"I think you're seeing things, HM."

"I wish I was! I don't particularly enjoy sitting in your dried poop! Maybe you need to put [heh, heh, I typed that first as POOT] in a spotlight over the toilet. Like those recessed flood lights that you have over the La-Z-Boy and TV. So that mess will catch your attention, and you can clean up your own poop!"

"[Chuckle, Chuckle] HM. You come up with the most crazy things to complain about."

"Oh, WAIT! Let me get this right. I'M the crazy one, because I don't want to sit in someone else's poop? Seriously? THAT makes me unreasonable?"

I'd take a picture to show him, but I'm afraid I'd drop my five-year-old Genius-cast-off phone into the toilet. Which already happened once, with my previous Genius-cast-off phone falling out of my pocket.

Sheesh! You get your flusher fixed, but then you sit in dried poop. Even Steven better have a special treat lined up for me...
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Let the record show that Farmer H went back to the bathroom, and cleaned off the dried poop that only I could see.
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