There are times when Farmer H makes no sense. He THINKS he is explaining something, when in reality, it's about as clear as mud, and when pressed, he states the same words in the same order, only LOUDER.
Thursday evening, he said the Bad Hay Baling Lawyer's Wife was trying to find residents of our enclave to buy fundraiser candy bars from her kid.
"How much are they?"
"A dollar apiece."
"That's not bad. I'm surprised they're not two dollars now. My students were always selling them. What kinds? I used to get plain or almond for myself, and crunch for The Pony, and caramel for Genius."
"I don't know. She didn't say what kinds."
"How many are you getting?"
"I don't know. Three or four."
"Are you getting them just for yourself? You're not supposed to have candy bars!"
"I can get you some."
"I don't know what kinds! I don't like caramel, though. They're too messy."
"I'd imagine they're the regular kinds. They're half a triangle. Like a Rolo."
"Whoa! I don't know what you mean. Aren't they fundraiser candy bars? The regular shape? Like a rectangle?"
"No, HM. They're like half a triangle!"
"Half a triangle is another triangle!"
"No. It's flat on the bottom, and flat on top."
"I've seen a fundraiser candy bar before. They're shaped like a regular candy bar! A rectangle. Longer than they are wide."
"No. It's flat on the bottom, and flat on top. The sides go in. It's like a Rolo."
"A Rolo is round! And they come in a tube, a round tube, that's long!"
"I don't know what you don't understand! The candy bar is half a triangle! Flat on the bottom, and flat on the top! With slanted sides!"
"Wait! Are you talking about how thick it is? Not its shape? Because if you are, then that shape is NOT half a triangle! It's a trapezoid! If you mean when looking at it from the end."
"You never could understand nothin'! The candy bar is half a triangle! Flat on the bottom, and flat on the top! It's like a Rolo!"
SWEET GUMMI MARY! It was like the "Who's On First" routine, but not funny, and not clever. The best I could figure out, Farmer H was describing the thickness of the candy bar, and meaning that the caramel version is chocolate on the outside, and caramel on the inside, like a Rolo.
Like, if you look at the end, the candy bar would have this kind of shape: /___\
Still, I imagine it's a regular rectangle-shaped candy bar. I'll show you a picture tomorrow.
I am in a frenzy over this debate. I have started reseaching odd-shaped candy bars---from all over the world---and I will keep searching until your post tomorrow.
ReplyDeletePlease hurry. My curiosity is brimming over.
Sioux,
ReplyDeleteMy first thought was of some kind of diagonal-cut CHUNKY bar. I never liked them, because they were so different in shape. The taste was fine, but I felt like I was getting cheated on the size, even though I'm sure it was the same amount of ounces as a traditional candy bar.
I feel guilty sitting on this information while you search your fingers to the bone. However, Madam, I shall reveal no post before its scheduled date and time!
And if you look at a single Rolo, sitting on its base, looking at it at eye level, that is about the shape you would see. Flat on the bottom and flat on the top. But that's no way a triangle. Maybe a triangle with it's tip sliced off, which still can't be called a triangle.
ReplyDeleteI think you need to buy some of this fundraiser candy and find out for yourself (and us) just exactly what it is. and if you accidentally buy the caramel flavour, just send it to me. (*~*)
River,
ReplyDeleteIf only Farmer H would elaborate, and clarify that he meant looking at a Rolo from the side. But he never varies from his first description. Only says it louder!
He bought two for himself, and three for me! And it's not even my birthday, when he could substitute them for a box of Sno-Caps! Mine were almond, his caramel. I'm pretty sure those caramel ones are gone already.