You may recall that on Friday the 13th, Farmer H was in a panic because This Guy's Wife put on Facebook that the Devil's Playground was out of toilet paper. I told him it was plentiful at Country Mart, so he said to get some. It has been in T-Hoe since then.
Last week, Farmer H said a guy at the storage units had bought up a large amount of toilet paper. A whole storage unit full! And that he was selling it for $5 a roll! Heh, heh. Little did I know what a bargain it was that the Gas Station Chicken Store had single rolls stacked on their counter for 87 cents apiece.
Anyhoo... Sunday evening, Farmer H sent a text to my BRIGHTER THAN THE SURFACE OF THE SUN basement lair. [TWO of my four lights have been replaced!]
"I just got a roll of toilet paper out. I thought you just bought some toilet paper we only have five rolls left"
"They are still in the car. You have had two shopping trips to bring them in. Two packs of four rolls. $40 worth, according to your buddy!"
"Okay just wondering ill get it later"
"Okay. Hope the neighborhood thieves don't rob us!"
"Hahaha"
At this typing, there are only three rolls in the hall closet. I suppose Farmer H will remember to bring in his precious paper treasure soon enough.
I've seen on the internet that you can grow toilet paper, similar to the way you grow a sweet potato plant.
ReplyDeletePoke some pencils in the roll of toilet paper--3 or 4--and put the roll in water. It should sprout a few new rolls within a month, I imagine.
Start growing some. You can save some money, along with worry about running out.
Hope he isn't caught with his pants down when he realises the paper he needs is still in the car.
ReplyDeleteI had a neighbour thoughtfully bring me a six pack of triple length rolls, so big they don't fit on my spindle. That should see me through for a while.
Sioux,
ReplyDeleteDang it! I just accepted an offer to trade my TP rolls for some magic beans. Now I can't grow my own.
***
River,
What a generous thing to do! Even Steven is rewarding your for helping your neighbors with their internet needs. Karma will always find you, I think. Whether to bite you on the rumpus, or kiss you on the forehead. What goes around comes around.
Farmer H is obsessed with the TP. He finally carried it in yesterday. Even opened it and stacked it in the closet. That's usually my duty. Then he told me the roll count. As far as I know, before I get up, he will be opening that closet to admire and count them each morning. Perhaps even caress them...