The Lucky Winner Has Lost It

I have lost the will to give. To provide you a blog post every day. It's gone. Dissipated like a hummingbird fart. I sit here in my dark basement lair, in a daze, running my fingers through the bangs of my lovely lady-mullet, now as long as a wild Chincoteague pony's forelock. Sometimes I doze off, my chin falling to my chest, and have a five-minute nap before I tip forward and get unbalanced on my rolly chair.

The less I do, the less I WANT to do. There's no reason to get up at a certain time. No reason to take a shower at a certain time. No reason to hoist myself out of the La-Z-Boy to begin my day. No reason to even put on my lair clothes instead of my pajamas, except to be civilized.

I've been in such a slump that I misread a scratcher winner! That just does not happen. Mrs. HM is a lottery ticket veteran. A seasoned scratcher of the scratchers.

It was on a $10 ticket. I had uncovered the numbers up top, and then methodically scratched row by row, to see if I had a match. Whoopie! At the end of the first row, I matched number 35. Whew! That was a relief. I knew I had a winner. I finished scratching. Then as is my habit, went up to the winner to reveal the prize.

This was a multiplier ticket. I started with the amount, expecting to find $10, the minimum win. HEY! It was $25! WooHoo! Great! I moved on to reveal the multiplier, expecting to see a 1X. That's about all I ever get for a multiplier. SWEET GUMMI MARY! The multiplier was 20X! I was so discombobulated that I grabbed my bright green dollar calculator that I'd used for figuring taxes. WOW! This was a $500 winner! I took a picture. I was almost shaking.

I was already making plans in my head. How I'd have to go at the right time to the Gas Station Chicken Store to redeem it. Nobody else will go that high. Even at the GSCS, one of the owners has to be there for anything over $200. They can legally only go up to $600. Then you have to go to a state lottery office. Which are all closed to the public right now. You have to MAIL in your ticket! I read that a guy in Washington, Missouri, had just won $7 MILLION on a $30 ticket. Can you imagine mailing that in? Not me. I'd put it in the safe until I could go in person.

Anyhoo...I was daydreaming about my fantastic luck as I used my MoLottery app to scan my tickets. HOLD ON! Why was my $500 winner telling me it was only a $10 win? Was the app malfunctioning? Can't trust my new used iPhone 8. It goes all wonky several times a day.

I looked over my ticket. At my matched number 35.

Gosh dang it! I didn't match number 35. I matched number 32, right beside it. I had uncovered the wrong prize! The correct matching prize was $10. With a multiplier of 1X.

Nevermind...

It was a bit of excitement, anyway.