The Return Of My Little Helper

Now that The Pony is home from college, I have an extra pair of arms. An arm. Half an arm, in a sling. Truth be told, sometimes The Pony is not all that helpful. He's like the George Costanza spastic arm that twitched at random.

Anyhoo... I'm not knocking The Pony's help. He's pretty good at bringing in the groceries, and carrying something downstairs for me. In the kitchen, however... he's a bit of an albatross around my mostly-devoid-of-thyroid neck.

Wednesday night, Farmer H was grilling some chicken breasts and sausages. I was making salad. The Pony wanted some Stove Top Stuffing. He had brought some back in his apartment belongings. I know it only takes butter (I Can't Believe It's Not) and water. I asked him to check the box for the amounts, and put them in a saucepan.

"Oh, Mom. It takes one-and-a-half cups of water, and a quarter-cup of butter. How do you measure the butter out of the tub?"

"I just look at it, and dig out what looks like a quarter-cup. It's not like it matters to be exact on the butter. Oh, and there's a measuring cup there in the clean sink."

"Okay. Uh. This doesn't look too good..."

"It's CLEAN! I keep it in there. All I ever use it for is water, like for instant oatmeal. I turn it upside down to dry. That's just water spots."

The next thing I knew, The Pony was at the stove, digging BUTTER OUT OF MY PLASTIC MEASURING CUP!

"Pony! WHAT are you doing? Why in the world would you put butter in the measuring cup and pack it down?"

"To get a quarter-cup. I'm measuring it."

"You asked, and I specifically said that I just dip out an amount that looks like a quarter-cup! Now I have to scrub my plastic measuring cup! And I never have hot water because you use it up in the mornings with your shower, and in the evenings with your bath in the giant tub!"

"Um, you TOLD me to get the measuring cup! To measure the butter!"

"No. I told you how to measure the butter, then I told you where the measuring cup was for the water. Which is more important to get accurate."

"Nooo... you told me to get the measuring cup for the butter!"

"Why would I do that? Do you think I WANT to scrub butter out of a plastic measuring cup, when I could have just turned it upside down to drain out water?"

"Do you want me to wash it out for you?"

"NO! Please, no! I'd rather it only have to be done once, the right way, the first time."

We won't discuss the fact that he at first wanted a FORK to dig out the butter, but I switched him to a serving spoon, since it could also be used for stirring, and serving later.