NO TIPpy For You, And My Ire Too

A strange thing is happening during my almost-daily lunch order at Dairy Queen. It's closed, you know, for inside dining. But the drive-thru does a booming business. It is not uncommon for me to be 13th in line. The line moves fairly quickly. About one minute per car has been the standard. Sometimes I'm only five cars back. Sometimes the line is quicker.

Anyhoo... about once a week, a little gal will bring my order out while I'm still in line. That's nice of her, but not required, or even welcomed, and in fact makes me a bit surly. The cars are so close that it doesn't help me get T-Hoe out of there any quicker. I still have to wait for the cars in front of me to pull forward. Generally, my pretzel sticks are brought out when one or two cars are still ahead of me.

Here's the thing. I thank the little gal, and hand her my money. She gives me the bag, and says,

"I'll be right back with your change."

Darn tootin' she will! I get two items off the 2 for $4 menu. My total is $4.33. I hand her a five dollar bill. No way am I giving her my 67 cents as a tip! That's almost the 69 cents I need to go with my dollar for a daily Diet Coke!

Dairy Queen employees know that they're not working for tips. They get a normal salary. The dining room is closed, and even when open, you pick up your food at the counter. No waitresses. No carhops. No tips.

Don't get me wrong. They don't hint at a tip. They are quite sweet and apologetic for my wait. But I'm still not giving them a tip. You'd think, by using common sense, they'd bring out some change with them. Like the coins, or what change would be if I paid with a ten or a twenty. Just have it there in a pocket or pouch. Otherwise, how are they really helping to speed things along, if they have to go back inside, ring up the bill on a register, and come back out with change?

I don't mind leaving a tip for waitresses or carhops. They are often paid less than minimum wage. Tips are supposed to be reported to the IRS. In fact, these employees are taxed as if they ARE being paid minimum wage, whether they actually receive tips to get them to that level or not. Dairy Queen pays their workers appropriately, because they are not in a position to receive tips.

Sorry, Dairy Queen drive-thru gals. I'll hang onto my change when I drive through. You might as well stay inside your air-conditioned building, and slide that window open for my transaction.