Sweet Gummi Mary! After 48 hours, this infernal, unending BEEPing is about to disable my brain. I can hear it in every room but the kitchen. As you may well know, I have no desire to confine myself to the kitchen.
To make matters worse (in my almost disabled brain), Farmer H says he doesn't know what is making that sound. That it's not an alarm. It's not a circuit board (which The Pony suggested). He has no idea what is BEEPing! He thought it should have stopped when he disconnected the outside phone line.
Whatever it is, I wish I had invented it! Imagine the fortune I could make, selling whatever is powering that BEEP, as a perpetual battery. It never expires! Of course I'd have to jack up the price, since I would have no repeat business, what with my product lasting forever.
It could have legs, though. If I also marketed it as a crazy-driver. A torture device to use on your worst enemy, to BEEP them away. People have multiple enemies! There's my repeat business! I could even use the exact same device, with different packaging. So the people wanting a never-dead battery (although an annoying never-dead battery) would not think they could buy the cheaper crazy-driver.
Oh! Another idea! I could sell a separate product, a sound-muffler, to the rich people who buy my perpetual battery.
Don't steal my inventions!
Too late. All your ideas are so brilliant, I've got engineers working on them right now. I'll be on Shark Tank within the next few months... and a millionaire I'll be, after stealing your inventions.
ReplyDeleteIf my kitchen was the only place I couldn't hear the infernal beeping, you can bet your *sweet bippy* I'd be living in the kitchen until the issue was resolved.
ReplyDeleteIs it the 'low battery' beeping of a smoke alarm?
*= old fashioned saying unheard for at east 50 years now, thought I'd bring it back.
Sioux,
ReplyDeleteFiddle-dee-dee! Tomorrow is another invention. Besides, I'll always have my Future Pennyillionaire Fortune to sustain me. I already have a Weirdo Repellent in development. I might even pitch a network show about it: "Weirdo Repellent in Development." I've already got the catchy title. I see it as a reality show. I might script you in as a fake weirdo...
***
River,
Ample Rumpus is the new Sweet Bippy!
I can't really describe the BEEP, other than to say it's a BEEP. It's faster than a smoke alarm beep. The closest sound to compare is something hooked up to a hospital patient.
Madam--
ReplyDeleteNo one--and I mean no one--calls me anything less than real. I am a 100% genuine weirdo.
Do not make that mistake again.
Sioux,
ReplyDeleteNext, you'll be claiming that you're SPECTACULAR...
No, just breath-taking... Those two things on me are NOT spectacular.
ReplyDeleteSioux,
ReplyDeleteAt least there's no shrinkage. I don't know how we walk around with those things.