Like a certain Seinfeld car rental business and their botched reservations, Farmer H knows how to MAKE plans. He just doesn't know how to KEEP plans.
Tuesday was election day in Hillmomba. I prefer not to drive T-Hoe out to the little country church and shoehorn him into their tiny parking spaces. IF one is even available. So Farmer H and I usually vote together. When we were both working, he'd go at 6:00 a.m. on the way to work, and I'd stop by with the boys after work. But now Farmer H is my captive chauffeur. So he votes at my convenience.
We had a thorough discussion of the PLAN on Monday evening. Farmer H wanted to go early, or after lunch. I wanted to go before my town trip. So we compromised at 11:00 a.m.
"Okay, if we're going at 11:00, I need a wake-up call at 9:30. I have to take my medicine, and have a shower. Then I'll go to town when we get back, since I'll already be in my town clothes."
"Here. I'll set my alarm now to call you."
Simple, right? Heh, heh! IF ONLY...
I stayed up a little too late, trying to finish a movie I'd recorded. It wasn't very good, since for the third night in a row, I fell asleep before it ended. I must have slept 2 hours in my OPC (Old People Chair). It was 6:30 when I went up to bed.
Like a good soldier, Farmer H called me at 9:30. I came out of the bathroom around 9:35, and there was Farmer H in the new recliner. I set down my overnight bubba cup of water on the table beside him, and leaned over the back of the couch for a minute. I could tell something was up, by Farmer H's demeanor.
"Huh. I have an appointment to get my hair cut at 11:20."
"That will be hard to make, since we'll be voting then."
"Well. That's why I came in. I didn't know what time we were going, so I called and made my haircut appointment. I can't just walk in anymore."
"You knew darn well what time we were going. I sat right here and told you, and you set your alarm. So don't give me that!"
"I didn't know! I thought we were going at 9:30."
"Like I'd jump out of bed and get in the car?"
"Well. I was thinking we'd go before. I don't mind going at 11:30."
"So you'll get your hair cut at 11:20, and magically appear back here at 11:30, to go vote?"
"No. I mean 12;30. Or 1:30."
"I don't want to go that late. I could have slept a couple more hours! But now I'm up. Do you want me to shower now, and we'll go?"
"Yeah. That would work."
Seriously. I think Farmer H planned that all along. Everybody is expected to get up with the chickens, and go roost at dusk around here. Unless there's an auction.
More about the voting experience tomorrow.
I get up early due to the newest member of my animal kingdom. HeWho sleeps until noon if I don't wake him. He is instantly asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow, always before 10 pm. I attribute he lack of memory to too much sleep! Planning is something I do, not him!
ReplyDeleteOh, you have these problems because you're retired. If you were still working, you wouldn't have to deal with these dilemmas.
ReplyDeleteStaying up til all hours of the night? Sleeping until mid-morning arrives? If you had to get up at the crack of chicken, you'd have no trouble planning out your day... Your day would be filled up by somebody else.
And for me, voting was a breeze. I had less than a minute to wait, and was in and out in less than 5 minutes.
Kathy,
ReplyDeleteYes, I think an empty head is more conducive to sleep. I can't turn off my brain. Farmer H has stopped sleep-shaming me for a while. I'm pretty sure he's working on a new plot to kill me...
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Sioux,
That's 5 minutes you didn't have for planning planning planning your career duties, Madam! I hope you can get caught up. Good thing I'm RETIRED! It took me 5 minutes to get down the steps to the voting room.
If I could reach in through my screen and smack him upside the head, would you mind if I did that? For not paying attention. All he heard was 9:30 and arranged his morning around that. Typical man.
ReplyDeleteI fall asleep in my TV chair too and miss entire episodes of whichever series I'm watching.
River,
ReplyDeleteYou have permission for a smacking, but don't damage the goods. I need Farmer H clear-headed enough to drive me to the casino, while thinking I'm really just riding along with him on a trip to look for pawn-shop guns in that town.
I ALWAYS fall asleep in my OPC. Usually within five minutes of turning on the seat heater.
A seat heater? Man, that's world class pampering right there.
ReplyDeleteI rather hate to say it, but sounds like Farmer H. outmaneuvered you in setting up his hair appointment without telling you, thereby making you get up and get a move on to get you to the voting church on time. I'm sure he'll pay for that in the not too distant future. One can hope, anyway.
ReplyDeleteRiver,
ReplyDeleteMy ample rumpus loves it!
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Bluebird,
I'd agree, but Farmer H is not typically such a mastermind. I suspect it was just carelessness and a lack of respect for my wishes. You can bet he'll pay. One way or another, through my own machinations, or those of Even Steven.
Oh, I'm a fan of Even Steven, but somehow, your machinations sound a bit more nefarious and entertaining. 😎.
ReplyDeleteBluebird,
ReplyDeleteEven Steven is a harsh taskmaster!