The Pony continues his assault on the Mansion like Sherman marching through Georgia. If he didn't spend 23 hours a day in his room, only the foundation would remain, smoldering embers glowing in the evening humidity.
Friday night, Farmer H brought home Chinese food. We have our favorites. Farmer H likes the Hunan Chicken. I prefer Hunan Pork. And The Pony feasts on Sweet & Sour Chicken. We save some for the next day. I can usually get three days out of mine, because Farmer H donates some of his rice. He likes the good stuff, not the filler.
Anyhoo... Saturday evening, I was sitting on the short couch, partaking of evening conversation. The Pony had taken his plate to the kitchen, having finished his second-day Chinese. He asked if I wanted him to save his sweet & sour sauce for me to use on my leftovers the next day.
"Oh, the orange sauce?"
"Mother. There IS no orange sauce. It's RED sauce!"
"No. It's orange."
"I can't believe you call it orange! It's red!"
"Noooo... it's orange!"
"How can you not see that it's red? Here. Dad, what color is this sauce?"
The Pony carried the little styrofoam cup (lidless!) into the living room, and waved it under Farmer H's nose.
"Well, it's red-orange, the best I can tell."
"SEE! It's ORANGE!"
"No! It's RED! Here. I'll ask Bestie. And my other friends. I'm taking a picture of it. LOOK! It's RED!"
The Pony put it under my nose. As he leaned over toward me, I saw something fall to the floor.
"Wait! Did you just drip some of that sauce on the carpet???"
"No."
"I think you did. I saw it fall! Maybe it was a piece of fried rice, stuck to the bottom of the cup. See? There it is!"
"Huh. I see something. But I didn't drop it."
To my incredulity, The Pony STEPPED OVER IT AND WALKED TO THE KITCHEN!
"Hey! You can't just leave it there. Come back here."
"Alll riiiight. Where? That thing?" The Pony bent over to pick it up. Except nothing was there, because IT WAS A SPOT ON THE CARPET! "Huh." He grabbed a paper towel that he'd left on the long couch, and started rubbing at it.
"Don't rub it in!"
"What would you suggest I do, Mother?"
"How about blot it. And get a little damp cloth?"
"No. I got it."
At least Sherman had a destination in mind, and stopped when he reached the sea. The Pony seems to have no end in sight.
And just think. If you were still working, you'd be gone during the day, toiling to fill those semi-empty vessels with knowledge. Then when you got home, you'd be too tired to care WHAT fell on the carpeting.
ReplyDeleteIf only...
Forget the colour and just call it sweet and sour sauce. So did he save it for you and are you enjoying it? I hate pork and always get chicken when I get Chinese food, unless I'm getting beef and black bean sauce. The only pork I ever eat is triple smoked and called ham.
ReplyDeleteSioux,
ReplyDeleteIf only the two could have been combined, with stuff falling toward the carpet landing in the semi-empty vessels! Still leaving room for knowledge, of course!
***
River,
Some places DO have RED sweet & sour sauce. But this one is more orange. Not as orange as duck sauce, which I prefer. Not gonna lie, I kind of like getting The Pony wound up over trivial things!
This pork looks like beef. Not like that smooth kind of pork that's in the bins of pork and mushrooms at the Chinese buffet. This might be some kind of sliced-up BBQ pork. I prefer the chicken, also, but this place cooks it in breading, and you get more breading than chicken! It's not even in a tempura batter like The Pony's chicken that comes with his sauce on the side.
I just got Chinese this weekend and got sweet and sour chicken. The sauce was red as a cherry, but hey -- every sweet and sour sauce is not equal! The duck sauce for the egg rolls is orange, or course.
ReplyDeleteOur China Wall folk have stopped giving free fortune cookies, which really disappoints me! As much business as we have done there! Plus if it's like $17 and change, my husband tells them to keep the change from the $20.00. Generous, but he misheard this last time and they ended up keeping $11 bucks from his 2 $20 bills!
Oh well, that and the chicken and broccoli I had today were both good. I have never had Human anything. Not sure I can take the heat!
Bluebird,
ReplyDeleteSometimes the Hunan is really spicy, with a lot of those black bean-looking pepper things and the red flaky things. Other times, not so much.
We are such hogs that they think it's an order for five people! I guess that's why they give us five fortune cookies. Though we DO get five meals (or more) out of the order, with our leftovers.