It's so hard to get The Pony in the car with us. He's always turning down the opportunity to ride along. You'd almost think he associated the car with a trip to the veterinarian...
The only time The Pony jumps in joyfully is for a casino trip. That may change, after his last experience strapped in for 3 hours with Farmer H and Mrs. HM. Oh, he'll still jump in. But perhaps not quite joyfully. He's probably suffering nightmares about me asking him why he was breathing, PTSD from the shorts-leg incident seared into his brain, and indignation that the tables turned on him when Juno was outed as a hoarder.
Anyhoo... just before the Juno incident, Farmer H was lamenting that he wanted me to order him some gun parts online. AS IF there was any need to move me further up the NSA watch list than my conspiracy-site-reading already has landed me!
"Oh. How much is my cut of your profit?"
"Nothing."
"Then why would I want to help you?"
"You're always ordering stuff."
"Only at Christmas. And a cartridge for my printer."
"I don't have no computer to order on, now that I'm not working. And I'm sure not going to touch your laptop. I can imagine the fit you'd have."
"You don't touch the laptop because you don't know how it works. Every time I try to show you something you've asked about, you can't go anywhere besides the screen it's on."
"I just want you to look up my parts and order them."
"Every time you do that, I can't find what you're talking about. You give me some random part number, which could be ANYTHING! It takes hours of my valuable time! It would be different if you'd just send me the link. I could click on it and order."
"I don't know how to send a link on my phone."
"Dad! Seriously? It's right at the top."
"I gotta say, I don't know how to send a link on MY phone, either. But it's NEW, you know! I've only had it about 4 months. Besides, I'd never send a link on my phone. I have 2 computers for that!"
The Pony tapped his forehead. SIGHED.
"Do you AT LEAST know how to send a link on your computer?"
"Of course. I'm not an IDIOT!"
"You both make me hurt..."
There's a cure for that. Once The Pony gets a job, he can move into his own place. No more watching his father hike up his shorts leg to take a whizz. No more glimpses of his father stepping into Poolio in either his tighty-whiteys... or in nothing at all.
ReplyDeleteOnce The Pony moves out, his scars can start healing...
I have trouble looking up stuff too, research was never my strong suit, just ask any of my old teachers. If they're still alive. I usually end up googling something and then following links from there until I hit the right one, or just give up and read a book.
ReplyDeleteSioux,
ReplyDeleteYes! So true! Perhaps The Pony is waiting for delivery of a tastefully gift-wrapped box, all done up with curlicue ribbons and a big honkin' bow on top, containing A JOB tailored specifically to his needs...
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River,
The problem with Farmer H is that he thinks the part number he gives me is the only part number on the whole internet, and a search for it will lead me to the page I need to order it!
Another time I searched to the ends of the innernets to find him a repair manual for his specific tractor, and when it came, he said the diagrams were too small. As if I could change that, or could have known that before it arrived!